Love, Health and Sex: Exhausted - FML

Exhausted

By Anonymous - 28/04/2019 05:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Spicy

Today, I made plans with my boyfriend for some "alone time" after work. I then stepped on some black ice in the parking lot, landed on my head, and got sent to the ER. Per protocol, until cleared by a specialist, I am not permitted to work. Or drive. Or drink. Or do anything "strenuous". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 247

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Same thing different taste

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 91

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 356

You deserved it 7 909

But… the economy!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2022 00:00

Today, I found out that my boss was actually legally obligated to send me to the hospital after I was hit on the head while working. I had to finish the entire work day while heavily concussed, and by the time I got to the ER I had lost complete feeling in my right side. They asked me to come in the day after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 104

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 593

You deserved it 4 398

By chelseaface - 21/01/2011 15:13 - United States

Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 624

You deserved it 3 639

Christmas is treacherous

By Jeremy - 20/12/2020 23:00

Today, I decided to take my girlfriend out to look at Christmas lights and get hot chocolate. While cleaning my snow-covered truck, I slipped and broke three bones in my ankle, and now need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 77

By BoBandy - 15/08/2018 14:30

Today, I finally went to the hospital for a week-long migraine. A few Saturdays ago I went to the park to play frisbee with my friends and coworkers. While climbing a fence, I fell and hit my head twice. Turns out I have a severe concussion and a swollen brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 690

You deserved it 902

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 243

You deserved it 3 142

By mark807 - 28/04/2012 06:52 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 501

You deserved it 2 168

By julichlove - 28/12/2014 00:52 - United States - Louisville

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 797

You deserved it 40 385

Next

Top comments

ahabsfan 14

Sunday 28 April 2019 12:08

Netflix and chill out.

TCRII 29

Sunday 28 April 2019 15:09

Let your boyfriend do all the strenuous stuff. You just relax and enjoy :-)

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Sunday 28 April 2019 12:08

Netflix and chill out.

raganerus 17

Sunday 28 April 2019 14:07

you can still have sex dude.. thats just not how a broken hand work

colderthanyou 15

Sunday 28 April 2019 17:07

Hahahahaha can you read? They said head, not hand

evilplatypus 38

Sunday 28 April 2019 18:24

Head. Not hand. And yes, that’s exactly how it works.

TCRII 29

Sunday 28 April 2019 15:09

Let your boyfriend do all the strenuous stuff. You just relax and enjoy :-)

donb23 23

Tuesday 30 April 2019 3:17

He could just sit by your bed and hold your hand.

randybryant799 20

Saturday 21 August 2021 23:10

So go home and relax.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 111

...

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 315

You deserved it 5 938

Today, my boss joined me on my vacation, to "make sure I actually went". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 582

You deserved it 928

Today, I was trying to give a motivational speech to my team at work, because morale has been low. Halfway through, I blanked and ended up just saying gibberish and stuff like, "We’ll just fake it until we… you know… whatever happens. You know?" Not exactly inspiring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 426

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 4 716

Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 172

Today, after I felt bad for living off food stamps and government assistance so I could be home with my kids after their dad died, I decided to go to school and get a career to support them. Now that I’m working, I feel bad for not having much time to spend with them. I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 116