Embarrassing, Food and Miscellaneous: Feed me and shut up

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Feed me and shut up

By a fatty - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 797

You deserved it 36 629

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Same thing different taste

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 13 882

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 4 187

All mine

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 534

By I'm so sorry... - 01/03/2017 16:00

Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 692

You deserved it 1 532

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 538

You deserved it 3 837

The customer is always an ass

By muffins - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 4 679

By Anonymous - 29/07/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 484

You deserved it 459

By mee - 22/01/2013 18:49 - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 347

You deserved it 3 315

By erockinthesuburb - 19/02/2013 01:49 - United States

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 443

You deserved it 6 358

By M to the line - 11/01/2009 03:57 - France

Today, I lied and said I was late for work because my car's tire was flat. Two hours later, some of my friends came in and said something along the lines that "We should do brunch every saturday, (like this morning) it was awesome!" in front of my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 076

You deserved it 32 509

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:10

"Today, I'm afraid to admit to someone I don't know that I enjoy good food. FML" Good lord, if you're that ashamed of it, I'll take that second pastry. ****, I'll even take both of them.

jangalianxi 6

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:09

why lie? just say you enjoy a tasty treat.

Comments

jangalianxi 6

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:09

why lie? just say you enjoy a tasty treat.

novair 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:26

because she is over weight ie ops name a fatty

humzizzl3 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:41

you fat ass chick

WallyTheWombat 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 18:10

If op is fat then the pastry lady probably already thinks she eats them both.

FangirlingAlways 14

Wednesday 25 December 2013 7:00

#20 how do you know that she is fat? She could be skinny.

smartypants9 15

Saturday 19 April 2014 21:05

We don't know OP is fat for sure, but judging from a) OP's name is fatty b) OP eats two pastries a day and c) if OP was fit, they probably wouldn't be ashamed about eating the two pastries. Just my thoughts.

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:10

"Today, I'm afraid to admit to someone I don't know that I enjoy good food. FML" Good lord, if you're that ashamed of it, I'll take that second pastry. ****, I'll even take both of them.

nowIshallrise 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:20

LOL 2 But I agree, why would the woman care if you're eating two pastries? You're eating them, not her...

feelingold 18

Saturday 29 March 2014 23:06

the pastry lady is interested in you. she's trying to find out if you're single. get in there!

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:10

Why care what a random woman thinks of you?

takeapieandrun 9

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:27

Not so random when you interact everyday.

BWill9014 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:25

I think he means random in the sense that this woman shouldn't have any significant importance in his/her life... meaning the woman's statement shouldn't have moved OP to feel that bad about their self...