Work, Intimacy and Wanker: Five knuckle shuffle - FML

Five knuckle shuffle

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I set up an office laptop remotely from home. My own laptop screen sat next to that laptop screen. I wanted to wank so opened some porn on my own screen. Then my boss called and said, "There's smut playing on this laptop." Wrong screen, and my work PC was in console mode, so people had gathered to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 978

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Same thing different taste

Team spirit

By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 7 551

By hardlyworking - 04/03/2011 00:39 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call and digital meeting at work when I got bored and started surfing the Internet. Little did I know that my desktop was being shared. My boss was on the call and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 689

You deserved it 37 789

By Jack - 30/11/2010 08:48

Spicy

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 890

You deserved it 3 694

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 3 423

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 358

NSFW FML

By Anonymous - 25/01/2023 10:30

Spicy

Today, I signed in to my personal Google account on my work laptop. Unbeknownst to me, the browsing history and favourites from my personal computer synched, causing my kinky PornHub history to show up, all while I was screen-sharing to my boss and prospective clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 1 764

By Anonymous - 12/09/2014 13:17 - United States - Fort Myers

Spicy

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 560

You deserved it 7 485

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 19:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 859

You deserved it 4 486

Check this out

By Robert - 01/07/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 659

You deserved it 7 418

By Albert06 - 14/03/2011 21:26 - France

Spicy

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 117

You deserved it 7 316

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 September 2023 6:56

Groupwank? The modern evolution of groupthink!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 26 September 2023 23:36

Stupid bastard.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 September 2023 6:56

Groupwank? The modern evolution of groupthink!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 26 September 2023 23:36

Stupid bastard.

D J's MOM 17

Wednesday 27 September 2023 12:42

first, you are really some kind of stupid. second, you need help, like really......

Keywords

Animals Cats Awkward Christmas Health Embarrassing Work Love Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation Parents Gun control Kids Language Noise Mysterious Relatable Money Delivery Miscellaneous Food Family

The Top

Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 211

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 850

The Top

Today, for the first time ever, I was able to have a good hair day without blow drying it or using product. Or so I thought. The first words my mom spoke to me when I came downstairs were “Go fix your hair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 251

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 610

You deserved it 4 233

Today, I got blown off by my “exclusive partner” on the night of my birthday supper, only to find out he went on a Tinder date with my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 134

Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 398

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 172

Today, I found a deck of Uno cards. Being extremely bored, I decided to put them in order. I now know EXACTLY which cards I'm missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 375