Miscellaneous: Flattered

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 3 710

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Same thing different taste

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 4 167

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 684

You deserved it 7 813

Sage advice

By jcc - 24/02/2009 08:31 - Russian Federation

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 602

You deserved it 5 559

By Rose - 15/06/2012 05:54 - United States - Tenino

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 581

You deserved it 2 668

Booted

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 07:32 - Australia

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 351

You deserved it 3 371

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 17:38 - United States - Monroe

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 164

You deserved it 3 847

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 3 437

Freakout!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 546

You deserved it 2 571

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 321

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Monday 28 January 2013 16:12

Awwh c'mon, that's funny as hell.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 28 January 2013 16:47

All the more reason why she's a strange man.

Comments

alialley 10

Tuesday 29 January 2013 6:35

Happened to me once. Except, the girls were my friends, pretty, and passed the comment in front of my girlfriend.

cuponoodles34 10

Tuesday 29 January 2013 6:53

mmh that tush. I'm surprised she didn't give one of your cheeks a pinch.

Fusion55 7

Tuesday 29 January 2013 18:13

She and the old man from family guy would make a great tag team.

DeBoss 8

Tuesday 29 January 2013 21:35

YDI.. Be proud.. And just smile thinking of that ol gal... :)

sarg1994 3

Wednesday 30 January 2013 5:38

Ha your girlfriend's jealous of a senior

dre_bro11 12

Wednesday 30 January 2013 12:41

Herbert's sister from Family Guy.

Inked0803 12

Thursday 31 January 2013 4:06

Cougars man cougars

Geary519 20

Thursday 31 January 2013 15:09

u coulda got a 3 way going shoulda took advantage of the situation

Elfkid21 19

Wednesday 1 May 2013 10:15

hahahhahaha hey be proud you've got a bod!!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 633

You deserved it 3 171

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 619

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 792

You deserved it 13 543

Today, in a restaurant, staff asked me to fix my skirt because multiple customers complained my buttcrack was putting them off their food. I thought the waiter was using fake complaints to justify his rudeness, but when I got up to fix it fully, half the restaurant applauded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 2 040

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 205

You deserved it 337

Today, the place where I’m living is so small that after changing my shower curtain, I felt like I’d changed my whole apartment’s decoration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 72