Health: Freaky

Freaky

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 20:24 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 404

You deserved it 3 188

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Same thing different taste

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 380

You deserved it 11 013

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 272

You deserved it 12 023

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 543

You deserved it 21 356

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 961

By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 953

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 662

You deserved it 8 343

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 927

You deserved it 2 777

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 5 988

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 566

You deserved it 4 870

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 5 262

Cyrus00 41

Friday 29 January 2016 1:23

Now there's the question of do you want to know what it was?

THEDUDE1553566 24

Friday 29 January 2016 1:20

Hope it's not broken or injured in anyway. Feel better op

Comments

Guzziii 12

Friday 29 January 2016 1:42

Keeping the lights off at night, that's a bold move Cotton

whatunicorn 17

Friday 29 January 2016 1:42

Hopefully nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what touched your foot.

trojanman74 6

Friday 29 January 2016 1:42

Oh man. Well was the kick good?

whatunicorn 17

Friday 29 January 2016 1:43

hope nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what it was that touched your foot!

whatunicorn 17

Friday 29 January 2016 1:44

Hopefully nothings broken! but please do a follow up really want to know what touched your foot.

feven 32

Friday 29 January 2016 2:11

I think we got it after the first two times lol

scottishoatmeal 22

Friday 29 January 2016 1:46

Dude what was it?

GreyJedi 10

Friday 29 January 2016 1:50

Sorry. I have a fetish. I'll take my feather duster elsewhere.

totallynotemily 25

Friday 29 January 2016 1:54

My guess was either a bug or mouse

Mathalamus 24

Friday 29 January 2016 1:55

Did you ever find out what it was?

prized_loser 17

Friday 29 January 2016 2:27

It scared the shit out of you. See what i did there. Worst joke ever.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

The Top

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 611

You deserved it 8 860

Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 225

You deserved it 2 806

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 468

You deserved it 3 192

Today, I'm extremely disabled and by all means terrible at drawing, but I tried anyway. Sure enough, my drawings looked like shit, but I still took pride in them. That is, until my brother looked at one of them and said, "Wow! That's awful!" Thanks for pointing that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 136

Today, after showering and moisturising, I turned my fan on to max blast. I got covered in clumps of dust, which I had to take another shower to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 1 030

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 18 789

Freaky

Same thing different taste

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