Cold weather, Injury and Work: Frostbite

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 525

You deserved it 41 850

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 861

You deserved it 4 723

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 545

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 227

You deserved it 12 242

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 717

You deserved it 3 948

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 217

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Dude, what the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 4 755

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 438

You deserved it 4 696

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 191

DocBastard 38

Monday 22 November 2010 0:40

Next time you're cold, try sticking your head in the oven.

anorexicbarbie 8

Monday 22 November 2010 0:10

Chicken

Comments

cmac86 23

Monday 22 November 2010 10:10

someone's a ditzy blonde.

banananut 0

Monday 22 November 2010 11:02

A panini toaster? You fool. When I'm cold I just hop in the microwave.

penfoldsman 0

Monday 22 November 2010 12:24

you are an absolute dumb ass, for sure ydi

jonny2x4 0

Monday 22 November 2010 13:06

So you couldn't just stick your hands in your pants like everyone else? It costs you nothing and you certainly wouldn't burn yourself.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 22 November 2010 17:32

At least it didn't grill your foot. Are you related to Michael Scott?

Sirin_fml 46

Sunday 13 May 2012 22:15

Test.

Shinygirlnz 1

Monday 22 November 2010 21:58

Today I was cold at work so I sat on a toaster, then I realised I'm a complete moron.

LolzRoyce23 0

Monday 22 November 2010 23:10

what kind of cheese did you use?

LGrnGeaux 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 3:23

If you can't take the heat.... Get your damn hand out of the f***ing panini toaster. Dipshit

lovecartman 0

Wednesday 24 November 2010 1:54

reminds me of the office:)

Djosef_fml 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 5:44

Well, OP, it's time to paninic.

Keywords

Dogs Animals Cute Work AITA Parents Frustration Sex Intimacy Mental health Annoying Miscellaneous Relatable Technology Poopoo peepee Transportation Lonely Am I overreacting? Love Kids Dating Weird Gross Insects Neighbours Proposal Awkward Hair Delivery Health

The Top

Today, and for the past two years, I've been hosting a fairly successful Dungeons And Dragons podcast. However, ever since we brought a new player into the group, we've lost almost half of our listeners, and thanks to that, we lost our sponsorships too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 152

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 16

The Top

Today, did anyone else spent the last moments of 2021 shitting their brains out on a toilet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 200

Today, my blind friend bragged to a group of people that she knew all of us by smell. We all took turns standing in front of her, and she would tell us who we were. When I got in front of her, she thought I was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 643

You deserved it 10 204

Today, a barbecue joint opened near my apartment, close enough that I can smell the kitchen exhaust. I'm a vegan activist, so smelling animals being burned is a serious trauma for me. Now I either have to either move or constantly feel sick and depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 2 249

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 070

You deserved it 10 143

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 497

You deserved it 16 269

Today, I woke up to the fire department at my house. Why? My brother called 911 thinking there was a fire after turning the heat on for the first time all winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 142

Same thing different taste

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