Transportation, Cars and Relatable: Genius mode - FML

Genius mode

By Dumbass Dude - 24/05/2019 14:10

Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 2 180

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Same thing different taste

By oooooopss - 01/04/2012 06:44 - United States - Portland

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 871

You deserved it 29 510

By 303 - 05/07/2012 20:24 - United States - Houston

Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 866

You deserved it 2 665

By Anonymous - 15/03/2016 05:55

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 194

You deserved it 3 319

By j - 26/07/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 411

You deserved it 30 208

By stranded - 27/09/2010 05:56 - United States

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 700

You deserved it 7 667

By CassieMarieee - 10/12/2011 06:28 - United States

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 8 831

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

By mrs14 - 11/09/2012 02:04 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 471

You deserved it 31 213

By Anonymous - 22/12/2012 06:31

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 11 341

Whoomp whoomp

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 698

You deserved it 54 484

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 May 2019 17:45

Dad’s thinking: “I should have settled for a *******.”

Soviet Chilingulo 7

Friday 24 May 2019 14:58

I don't think you should driving.

Comments

Soviet Chilingulo 7

Friday 24 May 2019 14:58

I don't think you should driving.

julfunky 29

Saturday 25 May 2019 0:13

I don’t think you should writing.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 May 2019 17:45

Dad’s thinking: “I should have settled for a *******.”

mekiswrite 21

Friday 24 May 2019 20:08

I've done that.

Kavka 15

Friday 24 May 2019 22:26

Sounds like you are sleep deprived and shouldn’t be driving when you’re that tired.

Kristoffer 35

Saturday 25 May 2019 17:58

YDI but TBH I've done that too, aside from the part about it running out of gas.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer had got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

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You deserved it 46 377

Today, I work as an executive assistant. My French boss wanted to do business with a big American customer, so he sent her an email suggesting a meeting. He copied me so that I could arrange said meeting. He had written, "Have your ass talk to my ass." FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 2 588

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I agree, your life sucks 6 571

You deserved it 759

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You deserved it 6 091

Today, my boyfriend said angrily that he should never have gotten together with me, that he should have known a woman with divorced parents would have daddy issues, and never be quite right in the head. His own parents are divorced by the way, and his mom is extremely overbearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 185

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 15 213

Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 772

You deserved it 16 467