Get It Together By FML Videos - 21/11/2018 00:30 We can't even give an A for effort... I agree, your life sucks 227 You deserved it 101 Share Tweet Share
Today, I realised I had a bad month. Last week, I threw out my back; the week before, my girlfriend got a cold sore; this week, I got chickenpox at the ripe age of 31 years. When I went to bed last night, I found my girlfriend sound asleep with her vibrator in one hand. We haven't had sex for so long, I can't even blame her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 081 You deserved it 263
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex yet, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite." Now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 881 You deserved it 5 013
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 585 You deserved it 11 478
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML I agree, your life sucks 44 839 You deserved it 3 351
Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, and I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me about the flat tire I had. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 437 You deserved it 84 252
Today, I asked my girlfriend if maybe she wanted to actually leave the house for date night. All I got was, “Why? We have takeaway menus.” When I insisted we leave the house for once, she got suspicious, like I was trying to hide something bad. She’s not talking to me until I admit what I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 046 You deserved it 144
Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 95
Today, when my date realised I have a daughter, her actual response was, "Ew." She then got up from our table and went and sat at the bar. By the time I paid my half (and only my half) of the bill, she was already glommed onto another guy at the bar with her hand on his thigh. FML I agree, your life sucks 585 You deserved it 195
Not even trying
Funnyman has no idea how to control his balls