Miscellaneous: Get out of my way!

Get out of my way!

By ow my kidneys - 26/11/2024 06:00 - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 1 928

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By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 138

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 415

You deserved it 8 563

By sandyseashells10 - 13/11/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 20 690

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 138

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 469

You deserved it 2 716

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 3 259

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 102

Yazoo77 16

Wednesday 15 July 2015 0:25

Should have turned back and threw her off the slide

FYLTHOUGH 15

Wednesday 15 July 2015 0:23

should have kicked her back

Comments

Apollo_Smoke 14

Wednesday 15 July 2015 7:36

Sounds very American.

MMA_BJJ_Krav 11

Wednesday 15 July 2015 7:42

Wouldn't or couldn't move..?

Mr_Guy_Dude 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 7:51

Those kids must be strong to hold you and the fat lady while she was kicking you.

psychopolarbear 28

Wednesday 15 July 2015 8:02

Seriously. Kicking at someone's spine doesn't seem like a great idea. I'm no Doc Bastard, but I'm pretty sure you can give someone a spinal injury that way.

hopenk3 5

Wednesday 15 July 2015 9:04

That happens at this leisure centre place that has a huge pool area, in a tunnel part these dumb ass kids block the slide and there have already been broken bones they won't stop

elagabal 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:04

Simpsons did it.

joshi42 16

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:17

"big-boned" as in "fat cow"?

hegchog12 18

Wednesday 15 July 2015 13:00

I think that's offensive to cows. Elephant seal or giant walrus are a lot more suitable.

alex_gen 38

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:40

I can only imagine that one by one, more people come down behind you four, and by the end you have like 15 people all exiting the water slide at the same time.

CandyApple88 13

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:54

"Big boned" people are always so vile to other people! Should have turned around and hit her. Also definitely talk to the staff there saying that she was kicking you. If it was in the USA, just sue the fat woman for spinal damage (over acting during court encouraged)

Lilkat39 5

Wednesday 15 July 2015 13:53

Too bad you couldn't kick the dumb kids in the head. Hard. And then punch the angry fat pig who was kicking you from behind. It probably would have been very satisfying.