Miscellaneous: Get out of my way!

Get out of my way!

By ow my kidneys - 26/11/2024 06:00 - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 1 928

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By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 138

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 415

You deserved it 8 563

By sandyseashells10 - 13/11/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 20 690

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 138

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 469

You deserved it 2 716

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 3 259

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 102

Yazoo77 16

Wednesday 15 July 2015 0:25

Should have turned back and threw her off the slide

FYLTHOUGH 15

Wednesday 15 July 2015 0:23

should have kicked her back

Comments

cyberI7 13

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:14

Can't fix stupid!

nakros 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:33

Big boned huh? BONES DONT JIGGLE WHEN YOU MOVE!

outfielder55 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:34

Just say the truth. She's fat.

samlovesham1234 9

Wednesday 15 July 2015 4:55

Couldn't she see the kids in front of you?

Snaxia 12

Wednesday 15 July 2015 5:08

Wow a lot of idiots in this story. I'm sorry that happened to you.

awkwardmess 26

Wednesday 15 July 2015 5:42

You should've punched her in the face.

ironik69 31

Wednesday 15 July 2015 5:45

Thank you OP for using the term "big boned." That was very respectful of you. It just goes to show that you have a lot more patience and morals than some of these people saying, oh fat bitch this, fat bitch that, ****** punch her, turn around and cuss her out, blah blah blah. You don't have to attend every fight you are invited to. Sorry you got hurt, but good for you and the way you handled yourself in front of children. They learn by example.

lulinator 40

Wednesday 15 July 2015 7:35

You're about as annoying as the WalMart argument the other day.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Wednesday 15 July 2015 21:34

We all know OP only used "Big boned" so the FML would get published.

Vlen_fml 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 6:15

It's because of crap like this that I'd only ever get on an open top slide, not that I go to water parks anymore, 95% of the time the pools are evacuated because a dark blue cloud suddenly started emanating from some asshole who didn't believe that there was a chemical that changed the color of urine.

Anro_fml 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 6:24

Gotta love the fatties.

ViviMage 38

Wednesday 15 July 2015 7:03

And no one here thinks maybe she panicked in an enclosed dark slide with no light and no obvious reason for a hard stop? I'd probably panic, and getting the heck outta Dodge makes rational sense. No one expects a pile up inside the slide, and all the parks I visit have an attendant watching and monitoring. Then again. I don't go on dark rides fir this reason. Just open topped ones. I do not like to be scared and trapped.