Love: Get out!

Get out!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2010 21:12 - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 157

You deserved it 68 100

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 944

You deserved it 7 034

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 18:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 533

You deserved it 5 521

Mistaken identity

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 264

By tacoboy - 21/08/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 200

You deserved it 6 593

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 561

You deserved it 2 947

By salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 956

You deserved it 5 323

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 393

You deserved it 4 322

Chris Hansen time

By lloydLO - 24/10/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 136

You deserved it 13 623

By Loose Goose - 24/10/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 716

You deserved it 730

ydi_ruuc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:03

you expect to much...

irishfever 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 1:07

Just because you took her on a date you automatically get sex?

Comments

mollyo 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:38

ydi for being pervy

nicko_oz 4

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:43

if you just ate your dessert and drank your drink like a good boy you may have gotten something when you say g/f you must not have had sex or anything else previously or else this wouldn't have happened maybe to early to say g/f

ChihiruLee 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:44

Some of us actually want to wait for it to be more than ****** and hormones. I understand "coffee means sex" and that desert is kinda kinky sounding, but she is not required to give out. That is not the point of dating someone, at least for some people. No girl wants to feel like a one night stand if she has gone far enough to put labels like boyfriend and girlfriend on the male. So, 91 is correct, foreplay (because men can't go as long as girls) will put the girl at ease and show that you care about her. In the end you should have just make a corny joke, "Oh, wow, you cooked for me. I thought you were just trying to get in my pants" smile cute and then the idea is in her head and she realizes what coffee and desert really means. But never, ever make it seem like the relationship is only about sex unless it is and she knew this before hand. Being honest, with what you want and what she wants would have solved this problem.

bubdud 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:45

I bet most men are thinking like him so don't bitch at him. u know who u are

purple91 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:46

#120 I'd be assuming she meant sex in this situation as well and I am a female... Stop generalising people.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:07

Do you live in the ghetto? CIvilized people don't say "coffe & dessert" when they mean sex...

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 3:27

Do you live in the ghetto? CIvilized people don't say "coffe & dessert" when they mean sex...

dtotheq 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 6:46

watch it buddy there are civilized ppl in da ghetto too.

purple91 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 11:43

Who are you to say what civilized people do or do not say.

FruityLoooons 8

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:50

YDI for playing too much GTA.

Enzan 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:52

you really do deserve it you chauvanistic pig. Geez. Whats wrong with just real coffee and real dessert? get over yourself.

SCARYMUSIC 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 4:20

WTF does chauvantic mean

lm_wfc 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 13:40

Whats wrong with it? well late at night it contains caffine, which will stop you being able to go to sleep. having coffee at the end of the night is a ridiculous idea. coffe is for the morning, to wake you up. not when you go to bed. It's like having vodka before work.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 2:55

YDI ALL THE WAY. You can get a blow-up doll, if you're that childish or desperate. Real men know how to pick the right moment instead of being jackasses. Also, real men make the girl feel like it's the right moment, but obviously, you fail at that, as this situation has proved...