Love: Paranoid

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 2 947

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Same thing different taste

Caught

By EllaElle - 04/05/2021 06:01

Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 3 443

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

Tonight on First Dates

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 114

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 282

You deserved it 303

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 01:49 - United States

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 629

You deserved it 3 904

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 2 796

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 21:07 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 816

You deserved it 13 873

By j4 - 19/12/2014 23:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 587

You deserved it 2 960

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 5 103

By steak through the heart - 18/11/2014 18:57 - United States - El Monte

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 070

You deserved it 4 128

soulstrike23 6

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:34

Don't sweat it she probably has issues to jump to conclusions like that

randomguy76 14

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:48

FHL, she must have gone through dates escaping far too many times to have a reaction like that.

Comments

soulstrike23 6

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:34

Don't sweat it she probably has issues to jump to conclusions like that

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:37

you shouldn't have held it that long and gone to the restroom before the bill...

JMichael 25

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:45

most people don't have to go until after they're done eating.

Shadowvoid 33

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:57

Where is your statistical evidence? Most people use the bathroom whenever they need to go and can.

smackaroonial 20

Thursday 1 January 2015 4:50

The thing I don't understand is, isn't it normal for most guys to cover the bill anyway?

littleteapot 21

Thursday 1 January 2015 6:13

It depends on who asked who out. If I were to ask a guy out, I'd be prepared to pay.

quarterbird 18

Thursday 1 January 2015 9:54

Why blame the victim? At what moment OP chose to use the restroom is irrelevant.

Fou_Lou 20

Monday 12 January 2015 16:44

It depends on where you live. I the US it seems to be expected. In my country splitting is normal unless its clearly stated. So i wouldn't expect to pay for the other one even if i asked out someone. I would have paid my part and give the resturant owner all the Information about the person i have (name and if i know adress and if i have contact information) and let them handle how they get their money back. Dunno how it is in the US but here you can only be made accountable for that what you order and eat and not the stuff someone else eats.

tranced_ 45

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:39

Was it chicken tikka masala?!

kerstileann 26

Thursday 1 January 2015 2:12

Most likely not...

SnakeEye_454 10

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:44

Ya know, I don't think you would want anything serious with her.

IvyRizzzzoli 25

Thursday 1 January 2015 5:34

Or anything at all if she makes herself look super aggressive right off the bat

Chilupa 28

Thursday 1 January 2015 18:57

Agreed. Sounds like she has major trust issues.

fortune789 17

Saturday 3 January 2015 1:51

OP definitely definitely doges a bullet with that one. The 7 year old from the last FML will probably grow up to be like her.

randomguy76 14

Thursday 1 January 2015 0:48

FHL, she must have gone through dates escaping far too many times to have a reaction like that.

Steve95401 49

Thursday 1 January 2015 1:16

I can't imagine why guys would want to ditch her. She seems so pleasant and nice.

Kielnmsoftly 26

Thursday 1 January 2015 1:52

No, FHDL(**** her dates' lives) if she was so weird or their own problems made them have to jump out a window.

T1A2Z3 34

Friday 30 March 2018 0:29

Or maybe it's a clever plan so she never has to pay? If the OP texts and appoligizes she'll go out with him again but start another fight and storm out footing him with the check...