Intimacy: Good one, Dave, thanks

Good one, Dave, thanks

By sasd32 - 06/03/2009 19:51 - United States

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with, "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 223

You deserved it 8 925

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Drunken antics

By Stilljobless - 19/01/2010 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 089

You deserved it 39 644

By Mr IT - 24/11/2009 01:47 - Sweden

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 755

You deserved it 43 164

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 00:00

Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 674

You deserved it 487

Probably not

By stupid voicemails - 28/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lahaina

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 014

You deserved it 55 239

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 698

You deserved it 1 943

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 129

Thanks mom

By unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 484

You deserved it 26 346

Aced it

By Kanata - 31/08/2019 02:05

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 160

By maddy - 21/01/2009 17:03 - France

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 800

You deserved it 2 629

By pocketrocket90 - 08/08/2014 06:05 - Australia - Capalaba

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 429

You deserved it 5 342

Flora_fml 6

Friday 6 March 2009 22:57

That totally sucks and I hope you kicked your friend's ass because there's NO excuse for that he did at all!

400382 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:46

don't give up and keep lookin'

Comments

Dorque 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 22:45

And you didn't get your butt down there to explain in person? Heck, don't even tell him your friend was drunk if you don't want, there are plenty of valid reasons someone might say something really dumb like that. Some of those surgery medications will really make your life interesting for a while.

Aaven 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 4:50

it could have been worse. your drunk friend could have picked up the phone and said "gypsy! give me your tears or I will take them from you!"

fuzz97 23

Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:05

Borat FTW!

Articwolf492 0

Monday 6 December 2010 8:44

lmaoo i love it

angel55033 12

Monday 14 February 2011 9:00

that was still irresponsible he didn't want to hire drama I don't blame him

AshlingArdan 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 23:17

dude it's never a last hope, it's sad thinking like that as to why the suicide rate is up.... stop being emo and go out and get a job. also revenge of the friend, shut them in a bathroom or wait till they take a shower and rig a febreeze can to continually spray on them, hilarious and it'll totally cheer you up emo