Health, Insects and Relatable: Gotta catch 'em all

FML for mobile
Free

Gotta catch 'em all

By Takethefoot - 20/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 92

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Been here long?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2022 14:00

Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 164

Hey Scratchy!

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 18:00

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 177

Overdoing it?

By Toe man - 14/02/2022 03:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, on the third day after I developed what I thought was gout for the first time in my 62 years, it turns out it was just a spider bite on my toe. My wife still thinks I had been drinking on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 109

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 711

You deserved it 2 520

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 414

You deserved it 32 299

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 11:36 - United States - Hockessin

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 520

You deserved it 2 378

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 562

You deserved it 4 991

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 293

You deserved it 14 266

Nature is healing

By anonymous - 30/06/2016 05:27 - United States - Forney

Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 320

You deserved it 2 472

By awkardtaco - 28/09/2018 13:30

Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 236

core01 30

Sunday 21 July 2024 6:22

You might want to stop sticking that foot wherever you've been sticking it

Comments

core01 30

Sunday 21 July 2024 6:22

You might want to stop sticking that foot wherever you've been sticking it

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Embarrassing Love Technology Health Mental health Work AITA Kids Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Money Transportation Cars Clothes Capitalism Job interview Heatwave Miscellaneous Insects Summer Virginity Weird Parenting Family Thief Food Scary

The Top

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 222

The Top

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 310

You deserved it 6 999

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 794

You deserved it 5 048

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 325

You deserved it 1 895

Today, I was informed that my flatmate had not handed his documents in to the new landlord like he'd told me. We are due to move to a new area tomorrow for the new job that I start in four days. Now we can't move for another week. Anyone have a spare couch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 156

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 193

You deserved it 21 658

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 553

You deserved it 3 155