Intimacy: Great chat!

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 461

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Same thing different taste

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 647

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 11 071

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 15 210

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 601

By annonymous - 07/09/2015 20:56 - United States

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 877

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 726

You deserved it 10 244

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 486

You deserved it 9 785

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:57

u were talking to your dick, Why?

MrNiceGuy518 3

Wednesday 16 March 2011 11:57

-insert clever penis joke here-

Comments

livybug 0

Saturday 26 March 2011 0:26

lol, wouldn't it be so funny if his penis just randomly talked back to him oneday?

RiDER1111 0

Monday 28 March 2011 0:29

who the **** does this?

guitarspro 0

Monday 28 March 2011 2:50

sometimes me and my penis and my cat all tell eachother jokes

pencilsupmynose 0

Monday 28 March 2011 3:14

hahahahahaha...stupid

rawrgirl13 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:13

zURideN 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:09

givin it a lil pep talk aye? lol

joeyhicks 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 19:24

wow seriously why were you talking to your penis you freak

kaihanson 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 5:19

did you draw a face on it?

Dillonjjohnson 0

Monday 4 April 2011 5:19

someone has no friends...

bananal_fml 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 8:23

Did it answer you?

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 086

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 639

You deserved it 1 196

The Top

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 573

You deserved it 670

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 922

You deserved it 469

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 666

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room, and I have an extremely poor short-term memory. I'm also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 3 348

Today, while in a meeting for work, my boss expressed how much he likes everyone at our site. But before continuing, he looked at me and said, “Everyone but you, that is.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 266

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 1 907