Intimacy: Handy

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 11 984

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Same thing different taste

Can't talk right now

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 667

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 805

You deserved it 18 370

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 789

You OK hun?

By notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 3 336

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 466

You deserved it 763

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 769

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 522

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 325

You deserved it 68 700

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 120

You deserved it 30 920

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 665

guy_whos_sad 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:31

The situation........ *puts on cool glasses" ......at hand. YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:27

Awkwarddd!!

Comments

KourtneyRay 2

Wednesday 16 March 2011 5:55

did she know? O.o you shoulda just told her to leave you alone and that you were busy. haha lol

XEmoChickk1027X 0

Friday 18 March 2011 5:32

LaughMyFuckinAssOff.!

pinkcd3 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:05

bonnerrr**

mnlk 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 9:55

why an hj? thats something you can easily master yourself. its like trying to put a girls makeup on her after shes been doing it for years

idklalaalala 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 11:30

"situation at hand" hahaha nice choice of words hehehe

NinjaSmurf777 0

Saturday 9 April 2011 15:49

Save handjobs for when your mom ISN'T home

8bitjerrio 0

Monday 11 April 2011 4:02

At hand... no pun intended, I assume?

ipod41 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 21:54

why did your mom walk in?

lancer3044 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 6:55

I would've went from hard to limp when I heard my moms voice haha

Parker1996 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 1:07

wow! that's really awk!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 959

You deserved it 34 662

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 858

You deserved it 10 491

Today, I realized I have a praise kink when the guy who I was sexting online called me a good girl and I came instantly, then promptly burst into tears because I've never felt such affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 273

Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 542

You deserved it 3 260

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 443

You deserved it 5 994

Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 060

You deserved it 2 728

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 958

You deserved it 28 595

Same thing different taste

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