Embarrassing and Health: Health scare - FML

Health scare

By sillygoose - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 44 954

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Top comments

jcash52426 5

Monday 9 January 2017 23:14

You know there is this thing that sprays hot and cold water out of the wall in you bathroom and if you rub soap on yourself and get under and scrub your body then you won't have food still stuck to your body. At the end of the day. Also how do get chocolate stuck on your body. Other then your hand and mouth from cooking or eating

HayNow 11

Friday 21 April 2023 17:40

Geez.... when did you last bathe? How long has it been there? So many questions

Comments

jcash52426 5

Monday 9 January 2017 23:14

You know there is this thing that sprays hot and cold water out of the wall in you bathroom and if you rub soap on yourself and get under and scrub your body then you won't have food still stuck to your body. At the end of the day. Also how do get chocolate stuck on your body. Other then your hand and mouth from cooking or eating

HayNow 11

Friday 21 April 2023 17:40

Geez.... when did you last bathe? How long has it been there? So many questions

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 877

You deserved it 552

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 480

You deserved it 15 047

The Top

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 695

You deserved it 28 540

Today, and until today, I'd never met anyone who took Tucker Carlson's bullshit seriously. Then, tonight, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I managed to bite my tongue, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 333

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 808

You deserved it 8 810

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 4 711

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 420

You deserved it 2 848

Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 2 359