Embarrassing and Health: Health scare - FML

Health scare

By sillygoose - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 44 956

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Top comments

jcash52426 5

Monday 9 January 2017 23:14

You know there is this thing that sprays hot and cold water out of the wall in you bathroom and if you rub soap on yourself and get under and scrub your body then you won't have food still stuck to your body. At the end of the day. Also how do get chocolate stuck on your body. Other then your hand and mouth from cooking or eating

HayNow 11

Friday 21 April 2023 17:40

Geez.... when did you last bathe? How long has it been there? So many questions

Comments

jcash52426 5

Monday 9 January 2017 23:14

You know there is this thing that sprays hot and cold water out of the wall in you bathroom and if you rub soap on yourself and get under and scrub your body then you won't have food still stuck to your body. At the end of the day. Also how do get chocolate stuck on your body. Other then your hand and mouth from cooking or eating

HayNow 11

Friday 21 April 2023 17:40

Geez.... when did you last bathe? How long has it been there? So many questions

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 493

You deserved it 15 058

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

The Top

Today, I handed in my 2 weeks notice, since I have to leave for college soon. My boss told me it was fine, then cut all my remaining shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 475

You deserved it 1 288

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 447

You deserved it 51 281

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 2 207

Today, my stepson objected to being woken up at almost dinner time. He knows I have PTSD from my 2 tours of duty, so he turned his speakers way up and blasted the sounds of gunfire through the whole house. I hyperventilated and passed out. Little bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 326

You deserved it 380

Today, I work at a general store and a customer came in trying to bargain a set price of an item. The item? A 50 cent candy bar. He wanted it for 34 cents. This is not the first time he's done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 137

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 281

You deserved it 58 410