Awkward and Love: Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Apology accepted, I guess??? People have said a lot worse to me without asking my forgiveness. I'll let it slide this time, but DO let it happen again ;)

dead_insects 18

Tuesday 24 July 2012 10:14

duly noted!!

rainbowkissies 14

Tuesday 24 July 2012 12:16

perdix, your profile is amazing. your analogy to FarMviLle is extremely entertaining. i hope you publish one day.

dead_insects 18

Tuesday 24 July 2012 9:43

guess he had a good reason for not calling earlier!

bprince25 0

Tuesday 24 July 2012 9:54

they say suprise sex is the best way to wake up. unless your in prison.

Keywords

Delivery Miscellaneous Neighbours Mysterious Games Boredom Kids Parenting Furniture Annoying Health Surprise Birthday Embarrassing Music Pizza Cars Transportation Proposal Awkward Love Capitalism Management Work Relationship advice Sex Social Media Cats Cute Instagram

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 3 888

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 400

You deserved it 10 365

The Top

Today, I woke up to 6 missed calls. I called back to find a woman asking how I know her boyfriend after seeing our texts. I told her he's been my boyfriend for 4 months, and she told me he's been hers for over a year. He vehemently denied knowing who I am as I spoke, even with obvious proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 108

You deserved it 304

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 744

You deserved it 4 195

Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 50

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 700

You deserved it 2 870

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 154

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 297

You deserved it 32 190