Miscellaneous: Hello, is me you're looking for?

Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 145

You deserved it 3 160

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Same thing different taste

By Mnm54312 - 04/07/2016 07:19 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 144

You deserved it 940

By tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 631

You deserved it 6 868

By nodullmoment - 26/04/2013 03:01 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that's for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago were inside. After they left, the "For Rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 157

You deserved it 3 264

Our house

By Anonymous - 11/05/2014 19:22 - United States

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 297

You deserved it 3 594

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 045

You deserved it 3 175

Are you serious?

By ummno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 991

You deserved it 13 721

By Kristopher - 08/03/2010 19:31 - United States

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 613

You deserved it 3 529

By Anonymous - 23/01/2013 01:33 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 978

You deserved it 2 551

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 21:45 - United States - Freeport

Today, my husband got fired from his job as a maintenance man at our apartment complex for accidentally letting a hooker into someone's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 427

You deserved it 2 266

Welshite 39

Saturday 31 August 2013 16:41

I really really want to know your gender now.

Cbizzlez 10

Saturday 31 August 2013 16:42

I believe a no soliciting sign is in order

Comments

kasmol 16

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:04

Tell them she will be back in 6 weeks after her treatment for a new, drug resistant variant of syphilis is complete.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:08

Your sex matters for this one...and would trigger a response...but i think you'll be left alone soon one comes finds out that she no longer lives there and then probably will not come back...or just get a peephole...

PenguinBitch 43

Saturday 31 August 2013 18:42

Is Steph here? OP: "if you want [Stephanie], she's at a party up on Starfish. I'm heading over there myself; you can give me a lift. I'm Mona, by the way. If there's anything I can do for you, or to you, just let me know." Your FML reminded me of this.

frizz101 22

Saturday 31 August 2013 19:38

But a note on the door that says "the person named Stephanie, who previously living in this residence no longer lives here. Please look for someone else 'to have a good time.' Have a good day."

revidffum69 22

Saturday 31 August 2013 19:49

I just have to say.... as a hooker, Stephanie sucked.

Zaros_fml 24

Saturday 31 August 2013 20:45

Probably did more than that...

BlueRainDude 11

Saturday 31 August 2013 20:10

Open the door wearing a wig and a trench coat and say "Stephanie's dead" I don't think they'll come back

cookie1207 19

Saturday 31 August 2013 21:37

You should clarify your gender! If you are a girl you should consider the new job opportunity. If you are a guy.... Grt a hold of a stephanie or ...

threer 30

Sunday 1 September 2013 9:52

You're disgusting. No woman or man should resort to that and either way, you're extremely sexist.. Get a life and realize that every gender should be treated the same.