Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 151
You deserved it 3 160
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Top comments

Welshite 39

I really really want to know your gender now.

309 6
Cbizzlez 10

I believe a no soliciting sign is in order

153 0

Comments

gracehi 31

Well, think about it, OP... What would you do if your son was at home? Crying all alone on the bedroom floor? ...

14 27
gracehi 31

Really, people? Do I really have to finish this myself? Ugh! Okay. Here it goes... "'Cause he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money. And his daddy's gone, somewhere smoking rock now, in and out of lockdown. I ain't got a job now. So for you this is just a good time, but got me this is what I call life. Mmmmm mmmmm."

7 19
gracehi 31

*for me. Damn you, Swype! Ducking up my song lyric quote!

4 16
gracehi 31

It's a song by a group called "City High." The song is entitled "What would you do." It was all over the radio in my youth. This FML made me think of it. But don't worry, Shike, I will indeed die some day, as will you. And then I'll find your house in Hades and loudly sing this song outside your front door. Unless, of course, I manage to meet up with the Tucks and partake of that spring of theirs. Then I'm afraid you'll just have to exist in the after life without me.

5 4
Shrike 23

Thank God (hahaha!) that I don't believe in the afterlife. The thought of hell never frightened me until that last comment though, I'll give you that.

3 0
Kallian_fml 21

Well, at least your know where the mysterious white carpet stains came from.

48 1
TheDrifter 23

Check the house out OP. It seems she didn't notify her clientele, so she vacated in a hurry. No telling what you might find.

48 0
perdix 29

When opportunity knocks. . .

53 2
perdix 29

Well, I was thinking the OP could become a pimp for an underutilized neighboorhood hooker, but your idea is nice, too!

26 1
longlivemetal911 15

This reminds me of a similar situation, where my brother got the old phone number of what We believe was a hooker. He used to get calls and texts like that everyday. He's 10.

41 0
nyxiny 22

Apparently a stupid hooker, if she gave her address to her "clients."

15 8
TheDrifter 23

Or op's new home was a ***** house.

17 0
graceinsheepwear 33

If she is in-call how else would she do it? Not all prostitutes do out-call. In-call at her location is safer for her in many ways as she controls the setting. No surprise people or hidden cameras...

18 0
crazytrainer 5

These places are usually short term rentals by pimps for girls to work in and not used as homes. They cause a great deal of nuisance to neighbourhoods though they move on regularly before the police catch on.

7 1
graceinsheepwear 33

75, you would be surprised at the number of women doing business out of their homes and apartments with no pimp involved. It is not that uncommon. Make some inquiries on craigslist.

2 1
threer 30

Only talking about women, are we? Hookers = unisex

1 1
juststephhere 23

I see you've bought my old apartment

47 0
TheDrifter 23

Why didn't you tell your clients you were moving and save OP some agony?

20 2
joshvaughn40 4

Hey what's up. I'm new to the fml world and I don't know how to message people so I thought I would send a comment instead. My name is Josh. Message me back if you want to talk :)

0 0
mangobbler 11

Perhaps a simple solution can be done: just place a sign on the door that says "Stephanie no longer lives here" Just saying, could be a practical and easy solution against the constant door knocking.

16 1