Intimacy: Hello Zoe

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Hello Zoe

By Zoe123 - 19/03/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 276

You deserved it 16 655

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Same thing different taste

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 025

You deserved it 8 950

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 556

You deserved it 48 721

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 875

You deserved it 5 298

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 2 112

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 33 489

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 226

You deserved it 8 140

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 807

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 423

You deserved it 20 738

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 424

You deserved it 23 279

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 105

You deserved it 42 168

Spiffy 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:03

at least you know he's comfortable sharing

ccb_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 16:11

hahaha if i were you... i'd give him a high five for having a good sense of humor. that's hilarious... please don't tell me you continued to dress and left.... people knock on people's doors all the time. no biggie.....

Comments

thebigO_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 17:40

That is pretty funny...good for him...i had a cat named Zoe once...the fact that your parents named you Zoe is a reason enough for an FML

munchly 17

Friday 26 March 2010 5:06

I love the name Zoe

krunkrooster 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 17:42

lol i could see that hapening to me except it would be my girlfriend saying that, and me trying to sneak out!

simplysmile 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 17:56

HAHAHA. Can I have your boyfriend?

Tamar 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 17:58

if you're not going to do him, can i?

xDancer101x 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 6:57

wow...

skladek 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:05

Hahahaha, that's just awesome. Maybe he was hoping that if he is completely honest, his mom would think he was just joking.

TheAntiComment 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:06

"Today I was having sex with my girlfriend. My mom knocked on the door and I casually informed her that I was having sex. However, My girlfriend threw a fit, put on all her clothes and ran away. So not only did my girlfriend give me blue balls, but my mom thinks I am a liar. FML"

ksk 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:12

hahaha that's far more clever than you gave him credit for. plus, he was being honest!

BenchodMuffin818 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:12

Maybe if you weren't such a ****** ***** you wouldn't have that problem. ****** stop sleeping around like a slutty bitch ass mother ******.

hawaiianxpunchx3 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:19

hahahahahahahahahaha # 21 lololol!!!!! omg ahaha

Chaith 16

Thursday 19 March 2009 18:20

To the sheltered goodie kid above me, having sex with your boyfriend does not make you whatever verbal diarrhea you just had. Swearing every second word makes you a pimp too, tell your friends.