Intimacy: Hi Honey, I'm home

Hi Honey, I'm home

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 128

You deserved it 6 971

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 035

You deserved it 3 104

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 746

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 945

You deserved it 50 948

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 168

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 2 295

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 577

You deserved it 8 636

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 926

You deserved it 35 109

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 514

You deserved it 4 036

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 817

You deserved it 4 156

By lollipopp56 - 26/03/2009 06:09 - Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149 362

You deserved it 13 807

flyboy57 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 19:55

Haha. YDI for planning it on game night.

009yp 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 19:55

can't stop a man from his football

Comments

Erindub 0

Monday 21 September 2009 8:45

so?

RichYungReverse 0

Monday 21 September 2009 16:23

are we suppose to shout out 1st when we arent? and its more like FHL. "today,I came home from work to watch this football game. After it was done My wife said she set up everything for me to get laid, but she was no longer in the "mood". I missed sex because of tv.FML

jchansfan 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 11:27

Wrong. You're assuming they didn't get it on. If she waited 20 mins he proally still got laid.

cradle6 13

Friday 1 July 2011 13:04

Also. when you're in a relationship, getting "laid" is not an abnormal circumstance. It just sucks she put in so much effort to make it special. Even so, 20 minutes is nothing.

phoenix03 0

Monday 21 September 2009 22:41

was he supposed to just automatically know you were in there? shoulda sent him a text saying "meet me in the bedroom when you get home" or something don't expect him to just know exactly where you are and why lol

graveworm 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 0:33

your a retard.

bassgod 9

Thursday 2 February 2012 23:58

*You're.

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 22 September 2009 7:07

football > sex? : /

eternity_hour 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 1:20

Oh thats sucks big butt..maybe you should have done it on the couch so he had both since one is more important then the other.

Qup 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 9:12

join the club.

jchansfan 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 11:24

THAT IS HILARIOUS! =) Haha it kinda sucks, but its so funny the way its put. Haha he must have been like "Score! No way! The game and now this!?!" when he finally did walk in... XD Haha I don't even like sports and I find it funny... :P

Vayerman 4

Saturday 26 September 2009 2:58

Then dress like a sexy hot cheerleader and start a football sex night while watching the game so you can have sex on the couch while watching football! I know it's an epic idea!