Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 06:57 - United States

Spicy
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 306
You deserved it 4 750

Same thing different taste

Top comments

chocolatechocha 8

lol@ people thinking she put on a Teddy bear suit. smh

She was probably thinking about putting on a teddy bear... teddy confused me too.

Comments

you expect him to have sex with you before he has eaten.... woman you crazy! and how do you put on a teddy? :S

...Probably by stepping into it and then sliding the straps up your arms. How else would you?

zkchild 0

Well was the dinner at least ready?

Qluz 3

that should be on family guy. i imagine it would be funny when peter steps in and just farts

RedPillSucks 31

Call me Theodore and put me on, sexy.

Because I don't know what the hell kind of teddy it is that you wear, and obviously neither does this guy.

what sex life? lol you gotta start somewhere!

bman134 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

A man needs his energy before such a task! Hah. But that's pretty lame.

what does it mean put on a Teddy? if it's a Teddy pyjamas, then of course he will fart right there!

a Teddy is a really tight lingerie suit that exposes a lot of body parts and covers up only a tiny bit... ..how could you not know that

She was probably thinking about putting on a teddy bear... teddy confused me too.

DDPT2 4

45, Because it makes you want to cuddle her like a teddy bear.

#45 - um, because that's what it's called? It's not like OP made up the word themselves.

45 that was amazing. and you know, not everyone knows what a teddy is... excuse me for being male and not shopping around victorias secret.

Google, people. -.- "Teddy definition" and context clues give you the meaning, and "teddy lingerie origin" gives you the-- surprise!-- origin. It's thought to be called that because the loose shape, or shapelessness, reminds one of a teddy bear. A bit pervy, but that's the accepted belief.

ripjohnlennon 5
slushpup9696 12

Farting is a serious problem that can only be addressed by divorce. There is literally no other way.

luvdacowboys 0

Women... I swear. You're supposed to have the lingerie under your clothes and make it a romantic dinner, then he MIGHT take a hint.

Well said. When a man walks in from a long day at work, he isn't ready to get straight down to it. Don't treat your man like an animal.

Actually, my point is that most guys have to take a lot of hints. A romantic dinner first is usually a pretty damn hard one to miss.

gracevet88 0

Guys r supposed to plan the dinner in my opinion

Teddy bears are erotic? Well, I'll never think of care bears the same way again.

RedPillSucks 31

Maybe she's a furrie, or uses one of those pedo training teddie bears.

chocolatechocha 8

lol@ people thinking she put on a Teddy bear suit. smh

Lol same. We're all heading toward an "Idiocricy" world. xD

ktrose 0

14, Are you referring to the word "Idiosyncrasy"? Or maybe "idiocrasy", since it branches off of idiosyncrasy? Either way, I do not see how the misunderstanding of a word would lead to an "idiocricy world" as you stated. Some people just happen to not use/know the slang.

Tikwichka 5

14, not all of us live in the USA, so thus not all of us share the same slang terminology. I have never heard this term before, but I was able to work out roughly what it meant. My point: If I start typing in Scots or even Doric, you must be an idiot for not understanding me.

killabee 0

Teddy is not a slang word. It's a particular type of lingerie. That's what it's called, a teddy.

glorialaura21 8

French frie isn't slang either, and in England they are known as chips. Same thing with cookie and scone. Teddy may not be slang, but she still has a valid point. Many English speaking countries use different dialects.

killabee 0

"French frie" isn't a word and a cookie is not a scone. They are two seperate things. A teddy is a teddy no matter where you're from. I understand if you just aren't familiar with the word and I'm not saying anyone is stupid for not knowing it, but quit trying to make it about some regional dialect/slang problem.

ktrose 0

My point was that you spelt the word wrong.

ktrose 0

36, Alright, it's not "slang" then. In some places, that word is not used. I understand what you are saying but you cannot speak for every single city in the world.

killabee 0

The only other word I could find for "teddy" is the slang "camiknickers" I am saying it is called a teddy. That is it's correct name. Whether you use it or not is irrelevant. I can't speak for all cities in the world obviously, I have no idea what a teddy is called in the German language, but in English it is called a teddy. Someones ignorance of this fact does not negate the word. Again, I don't care if someone didn't know what it was, I didn't until I was about 18 and started shopping for lingerie, but that is just it's specific name.

#53 is completely right. It's simply what the article of clothing is called. I guess it's related to a camisole, babydoll, or negligee, but besides maybe camiknickers (which is pretty obscure itself) there just isn't another word for it. Dialect has nothing whatsoever to do with this - it's the same word in all versions of English. You not knowing a word doesn't mean it isn't real.

ktrose 0

Tell me, where I stated that I, myself did not know the word. Again, not every city or country uses that terminology. In some places, instead of a "Teddy" it is referred to as something else. YOU, being English or whatever refer to it as that because that's what you learned to call it. Simple.

killabee 0

No ktrose, no. :( It is not called something else. Unless you are talking about another langauge like Russian or Japanese, it is just called a Teddy. I didn't mean you personally didn't know the word, I meant anyone, anybody. Just because person A. (anyone) doesn't KNOW that's what it's called, doesn't mean that is not it's correct title. There is another term for it as I mentioned, but it is a slang term. Last time rose, the correct title for this specific type of lingerie (it's like a bodysuit only usually looser and more easy to slip out of) is __teddy__.

ktrose 0

Lmfao did you call me rose? If you did, that's funny and different lol. Alright, alright Killabee I will end this argument. You can win this round :) I understand your points, I am not going to argue about something I don't have a vase knowledge about. My main point was just on the persons use of the word "idiocricy" haha.

really right now? your arguing about slang? get a life people!

76 - Idiocracy is a MOVIE title. I was incorporating the movie title in my sentence. I wasn't using it so much as slang. It's like if I had said "she sure did a "tangled" move right there."