Love: Hold me close young Tony Danza

Hold me close young Tony Danza

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 05:04 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 837

You deserved it 4 971

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 485

Class act

By raspberrysachere - 03/06/2019 16:00

Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 249

By fthislyfe - 02/07/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 349

You deserved it 7 950

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 624

You deserved it 8 912

Work sucks, I know

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Keene

Today, I had to go hands-on at work, while choking on mace, with a man who was mentally disturbed. It could have been avoided, if my supervisor had been less concerned with asserting dominance, and instead let the guy get a grip on the situation. Great use of my college degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 107

By nurse - 03/11/2010 12:08 - Reserved

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 5 408

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 7 374

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 493

You deserved it 7 264

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Here's this week's FML Photo

By hayleyalexis422 - 30/01/2017 16:04 - France - Paris

Today, my trainer thought it would be funny to do some reverse role play. I have to work with him every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 219

You deserved it 126

buckdharma 36

Friday 4 October 2013 12:30

A proper technique might be to tie him up so he can't get away.

tpm45 25

Friday 4 October 2013 12:24

Might I suggest online dating?

Comments

niftyismybitch 21

Friday 4 October 2013 12:46

I guess you were the one who was actually "physically restraining" herself.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 4 October 2013 13:04

Maybe you could get a date with him...if not you'll find someone...

Wizardo 33

Friday 4 October 2013 13:06

Well no time like the present to enjoy yourself and start looking for a relationship maybe.

perdix 29

Friday 4 October 2013 13:16

It's not hard to find men to have physical contact with. They've invented a magical substance that conceals your flaws and makes you desireable to men. It's called alcohol.

Silvinomiae 20

Friday 4 October 2013 13:39

Needs to be applied the right way, though.

perdix 29

Friday 4 October 2013 15:13

#21, you'd be surprised at how many men who really aren't good at anything else, apply alcohol expertly.

Kifferella 2

Friday 4 October 2013 13:19

Don't be ashamed. Physical contact, sexual or not, is a requirement of humans. If you're lacking it, you'll get that *shudder* from almost any physical contact.

repKyle95 24

Friday 4 October 2013 16:46

'Tis true. I'm only 18 and I get chills down my spine whenever someone gets close. It sucks. Still, OP, that is rather sad, but look at it this way - if you can fill 100 pages with vivid descriptions like that, you could have a future as a writer! :)

fordneagles 34

Friday 4 October 2013 13:28

Or maybe you just discovered you might like things a little kinky, that can be fun too ;)

Cazz91 21

Friday 4 October 2013 13:35

I would give you a comforting hug but I am not sure if that would make things better or worse for you. Maybe try going to public places that interest you to meet new people if online dating / friend sites are not an option for you. You can do it! :)

Ms_ValS 27

Friday 4 October 2013 13:36

This is too sad.

mangobbler 11

Friday 4 October 2013 13:40

Physical restraint techniques? Haven't been with a man in years? Why does this remind me of Sandra Bullock's character in the movie Miss Congeniality?