Dogs and Love: Hold me close

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 127

You deserved it 6 758

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 420

You deserved it 34 831

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 4 494

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 3 604

Serial killer vibes

By D Flower - 18/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 115

By Moeswifey - 24/10/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 4 559

By Anonymous - 21/09/2012 19:10 - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 062

You deserved it 4 778

Thrashing

By bad sleeper - 19/05/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 217

sarah2144 14

Monday 28 September 2009 23:14

LOL. Was the dog cute?

EChan 1

Monday 28 September 2009 23:42

He's probably slept with the dog longer than he's known you. So he's probably doing it out of habit. Neither FML or YDI.

Comments

sublime93 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:32

I think you're reading too into that...

CFR 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:38

Give him a break, he was asleep. And the dog is warmer and fuzzier than you.

EChan 1

Monday 28 September 2009 23:42

He's probably slept with the dog longer than he's known you. So he's probably doing it out of habit. Neither FML or YDI.

log1k 3

Monday 28 September 2009 23:46

dogs are more cuddly, get over it D:

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 28 September 2009 23:47

Was he the big or little spoon?

SaintJimmy 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:53

I agree with #23.

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 29 September 2009 0:03

#18 is a twat edit: dammit, mercy

glassisass 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:53

whatever gives him a boner.

mekzikinz 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:55

would you rather him treat the dog like shit ?

asquithpat 0

Monday 28 September 2009 23:59

ydi 4 being a *****

13713713 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 20:18

How was she being a ***** ???? Do you just type anything on here you idiot !

itsme1234 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 0:11

Well you totally deserve that. You're a **** for sleeping with that guy. ***** ass

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, my husband and I had our first prenatal appointment. My doctor told us we shouldn't have sex during the first trimester, "just to be safe". He has no evidence to back this, but now my husband is too scared to touch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 345

You deserved it 1 643

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 306

You deserved it 3 349

Today, after not being active on Instagram in over two years, I was broken up with by my fiancé for following a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 983

You deserved it 557

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 949

You deserved it 2 841

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 274

You deserved it 8 540

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 542

You deserved it 2 144