Work, Friends and Relatable: How are people still doing this? - FML

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How are people still doing this?

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I texted my friend to ask if she wanted to grab lunch. She didn't respond, so I followed up with, "You alive? Or just avoiding me?" An hour later, I realized I'd texted my boss. He replied with a very professional, "I’m alive, thank you for asking. Lunch is a bit early for me today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 479

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Same thing different taste

Slacker

By Anonymous - 03/07/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I sent a Slack message intended for my coworker/friend to my boss. The message included plans to "get through the workday without actually working." My boss perked his head up at the other end of the office before I had time to realise what I'd done, and asked if we needed to talk about my future in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 763

By arthur - 19/11/2011 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 834

You deserved it 2 634

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 397

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a major falling out with my best friend. Angry, I sent a short text message to him explaining how I felt. I soon noticed I'd accidentally texted "I'm going to fucking kill you, asshole." to my boss instead. I'm still waiting on a reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 597

You deserved it 40 434

By Anonymous - 06/01/2018 19:00

Today, after having been off due to the holidays, I awoke to several missed calls and texts from my supervisor asking where I was. Fearing losing my job, I drove the entire 2-hour commute thinking I’d missed a day. I hadn't; he was just trying to get my weekly reports early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 900

You deserved it 1 372

Serfs

By Impotante - 11/06/2021 02:01

Today, at work while everyone else was at lunch, my boss's sister-in-law called. Realizing I was manning the phones alone, she immediately asked, "Oh, is everyone of importance gone to lunch?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 88

Manager of the year

By xmeatballx21 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 967

You deserved it 3 507

Not gonna happen

By wormiformed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I had an emergency appendectomy, so I texted my boss to let him know about the situation. He replied that it'd be good for my continued employment prospects if I came into work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 379

You deserved it 1 602

By soon to be unemployed - 28/01/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 705

You deserved it 3 956

By SugarMyBalls - 19/12/2012 23:31 - United States - Winder

Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 557

You deserved it 3 161

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Animals Cats My ex Transportation Awkward Vacation Family Annoying Health Work Accident Love Kids Babysitter Technology Dating Embarrassing Geek Poopoo peepee Proposal Autism Food Jealousy Frustration Sex Growing old Scary Gross Weird Cars

The Top

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 370

You deserved it 8 370

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could've dented the chassis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 614

You deserved it 16 585

The Top

Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 254

Today, at work, one of my 6 year-old students, who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me, "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said, "Your arms are hairy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 435

You deserved it 4 391

Today, I was going through my sibling’s old phones from high school, trying to find pictures of our deceased father. It turns out that all my girlfriends had sent my brother nudes at one point or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 211

Today, I was given a $25 gift certificate for being Employee Of The Week. The gift certificate was 6 months past its expiration date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 205

You deserved it 2 840

Today, my wife and I have been fighting for two days straight. We haven’t talked all day. It all started with me asking where to park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 117

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 378

You deserved it 2 357