How kind...

By NoThanks - 11/05/2018 01:30

Today, despite my objections, a 50-year-old guy at a bar tried to convince me that my "biological clock is ticking" and that it was time to have kids, "before it's too late". He then offered his help in this noble endeavor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 417
You deserved it 341
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Donut_Wizard 23

That’s why it’s good to have a mace in your purse. Not the spray though, the medieval weapon.

55 1
RichardPencil 30

Thank him for his offer and accept it. Tell him to find you a tall, handsome, rich guy with an advanced degree and no family history of cancer, early death or dementia. There still are gentlemen in this world!

54 3

Comments

interesting33 36

Helpfully chimed in did he? Thought his minute Dong could strike lucky and help give a baby a ticker? Good thing you clocked him and got his number! Good you saw his true inner workings so he didn't bash one out with his bellend. Face it, he was a windup wasn't he? Was old enough to be a Grandfather? Pity he didn't get a hand to the face. (Not really though, watch it, he is a jerk and disgusting but violence would get you into trebble).

8 11
interesting33 36

and if it was the other way round, aka male hitting female it wouldnt be ok and you might be stuck doing time. So take my punny rhetoric with a pinch of salt ;)

2 8
Donut_Wizard 23

That’s why it’s good to have a mace in your purse. Not the spray though, the medieval weapon.

55 1
John Nemeth 14

Both forms of mace used in combination are far better:)

4 0
anon430 20

Bringing age into it was rude! he could have just offered to go halves on a kid...

7 1
RichardPencil 30

Thank him for his offer and accept it. Tell him to find you a tall, handsome, rich guy with an advanced degree and no family history of cancer, early death or dementia. There still are gentlemen in this world!

54 3
Mal2003 17

And they say men have high standards.

0 1
ajh1800 25

You should tell him that he's the one who's past his prime and then offer to give him a free vasectomy...

9 0
RichardPencil 30

Men are fertile way into old age! Depending on how he took care of himself, his desirability clock may be #TimesUp!

1 3
jbuckets_404 38

Richard, I think she means giving the guy a knee to the groin (or some other likewise painful action) to dissuade him from ever offering another woman the same.

2 0
jbuckets_404 38

Richard, this guy's "desirability clock" ran out long before this i.e., being a gentleman.

2 0
Glowworm56 26

If you ask me, it sounds more like his biological clock is ticking and he's desperate for sex.

8 0
Lobby_Bee 17

This is where you tell him you have a boyfriend so he can get the hell out of the way.

0 3
Rabite 28

I love how there is always more respect towards another man than towards the woman just saying no.

6 0
Lobby_Bee 17

No guys ever said they have a girlfriend instead of rejecting another lady? Its not about respecting another "man" more than a women, it's about rejecting another person without being as harsh as saying no.

0 0
Linz645 19

I’ve totally had that happen to me as well

0 0
RichardPencil 30

You should have asked him by what he meant by “help.” Did he just mean the ******* part or the changing diapers, teaching to ride a bike, having the sex talk and paying for college part? If it’s the latter, you might want to think about it.

8 1