Love, Health and Sex: Huge fan

No need to snatch up the chance to cliticize my puns, 65. It would seem you're an eager beaver when it comes to muff-ling my humor but I refuse to postpoon my comments about the female genitalia.

slacker_69 6

Friday 3 May 2013 4:50

when you hear things like this its usually the guy who does it. I am glad there are some women like this out there

generalasskicker 12

Friday 3 May 2013 4:51

You are not first

narkill 13

Friday 3 May 2013 4:50

Hail Clitler!

Axipiter 24

Friday 3 May 2013 4:51

Heil Clitler!

rg350dx 29

Friday 3 May 2013 5:00

Mein Furrier!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 3 May 2013 5:06

@19 Is this fun for a grammar nazi?

karen1991 15

Friday 3 May 2013 4:50

Sooo do u have to salute it?

tygerarmy 35

Friday 3 May 2013 5:08

Two finger salute. Sometimes three.

Transfusion 8

Friday 3 May 2013 4:50

Everybody has their fetishes.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 4 063

Today, I got a call saying I was successful in my interview to be a pizza delivery driver. As I picked up my contract and got in my car, I reversed sideways into a pole and ripped off my front bumper. The manager came out and helped jam the bumper in so I could make it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 725

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 390

You deserved it 13 643

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 241

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 13 061

Today, instead of waking up positively and full of energy like I was expecting, I woke up with a whopper of a migraine, and could barely get out of bed. The only reason I expected something different is because yesterday I got hypnotised to think that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 222