Work: I can't help it! - FML

I can't help it!

By ssssssssuck a dick, boss - 18/08/2013 17:29 - United States - Kalispell

Today, my manager took me aside and angrily told me to quit fucking about with our customers. He totally refuses to believe that the slight whistling sound I keep making when I exhale is because I have a chipped tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 585

You deserved it 3 193

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Same thing different taste

Gummy

By speechless - 02/11/2010 17:20 - Canada

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 3 743

Make it stop

By whatzthehell - 03/06/2009 10:31 - Kuwait

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 630

You deserved it 51 444

By Anonymous - 16/02/2014 17:22 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 027

You deserved it 3 917

By Anonymous - 20/08/2011 21:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 476

You deserved it 5 568

By Anonymous - 11/03/2018 01:30

Today, my manager cussed me out for being unable to keep a customer happy. That "customer" was a senile old twit who had wandered away from his carer, thought our shop was his living room, and demanded to know who replaced all his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 428

You deserved it 393

By Sorry Not Sorry - 01/11/2016 14:01

Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this joke a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 474

You deserved it 650

Teeth gang!

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 190

You deserved it 9 018

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 181

By maleficunt - 03/06/2014 20:44 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 993

You deserved it 4 048

Make your mind up

By fuck you, boss - 21/12/2013 00:30 - United States

Today, my boss scolded me for being too friendly to our customers and told me to back off and let them do their thing. Less than an hour after doing as he said, he scolded me again, this time for slacking off and not asking them if they needed help finding stuff. There goes my bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 515

You deserved it 3 161

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 19 August 2013 2:07

So many douchebag/stupid boss-related FML's lately... how do those kind of people even get that position?

etishuman22 32

Monday 19 August 2013 2:10

Maybe you could tell him you're just trying to make the best of things? You know...whistling while you work? I'm sorry I immediately thought of the old Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" when I read this post.

Comments

K410 18

Monday 19 August 2013 2:02

Lol it's like that movie the out of towners. But sorry that your boss is a dick hope your next job pays more.

imonkeyface 9

Monday 19 August 2013 2:37

It never said he got fired or quit.

K410 18

Monday 19 August 2013 3:16

Well not like she's gonna be there for life I'm just wishing her next job is gonna be much better

K410 18

Monday 19 August 2013 6:38

So I'm getting disliked because I'm wishing op better luck in the future? Lol something is wrong with you people...

dawnimus 21

Monday 19 August 2013 7:56

Calm down, get buried, move on. There's more to life than being thumbed up.

klovemachine 24

Monday 19 August 2013 2:07

Your boss is a loser :-)

NoMore_CoolNames 14

Monday 19 August 2013 4:45

Really?

ariiewilliams 17

Monday 19 August 2013 4:50

More like unreasonable about other peoples' problem.

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 19 August 2013 2:07

So many douchebag/stupid boss-related FML's lately... how do those kind of people even get that position?

magicman37 8

Monday 19 August 2013 2:09

Must be pretty creepy for the customers

etishuman22 32

Monday 19 August 2013 2:10

Maybe you could tell him you're just trying to make the best of things? You know...whistling while you work? I'm sorry I immediately thought of the old Disney movie "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" when I read this post.

HeartOfLead 24

Monday 19 August 2013 2:11

If OP is a vet, that would explain why the animals are always at attention...

hetalia_thailand 20

Monday 21 July 2014 19:55

I like the image of all the animals in the pet clinic suddenly jumping up and paying attention when OP speaks

ty7in_topic 31

Monday 19 August 2013 2:16

Your username says it all OP.

UnluckyGenius 21

Monday 19 August 2013 2:19

Your boss just doesn't appreciate mouth breathers is all.

IHATEFMYLIFE 26

Monday 19 August 2013 5:23

I know. Mouth breathers are people too and need jobs. I would report him for discrimination OP. thats so unfair to all mouth breathers everywhere! Lol

UnluckyGenius 21

Monday 19 August 2013 5:29

To be honest I agree with his boss, I know this girl. Let's say her name is Sandra, always needs a special helmet when we go do something because she breathes through her mouth. No helmet = plans cancelled. So inconvenient.

olpally 32

Monday 19 August 2013 2:40

Nice username. Lol. Explain why you do that. What a judgmental twat.

Jellybean22 14

Monday 19 August 2013 2:40

Get a better job so you can get it fixed?

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 438

You deserved it 7 439

Today, my girlfriend asked what my sexual fantasy was, and I said Catwoman. She got disgusted at me, because according to her, Catwoman is 15 years-old or something. Turns out she has only seen Gotham, featuring Catgirl as a teenager, and not the grown-up Halle Berry version I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 223

The Top

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 929

You deserved it 2 190

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 814

You deserved it 51 752

Today, an old lady walked up to my car on a busy street and banged on my window. She was annoyed because I was making a left, as opposed to continuing to drive when there was no traffic in front of me. She then got in her car and held the horn until I went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 1 959

Today, I had to temporarily remove the drain pipe under the sink. I absentmindedly poured the stinky water from the trap into the now drainless sink, and flooded the cupboard I was working in with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 516

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 539

You deserved it 3 993

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 806

You deserved it 840