Intimacy, Sex, Weird, Awkward and Questions: I did your mom

I did your mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01

Today, I foolishly asked my dad why he had a disability rail fitted, not in his bathroom next to the toilet, but above his bed instead. He told me that with his bad joints, he needs something to grab onto on Saturday nights while he’s plowing my mom doggy style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 1 530

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 24/02/2009 18:13 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 687

You deserved it 5 272

By Elrond Hubbard - 24/01/2015 19:25 - United States

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 067

You deserved it 2 613

Shortass

By Anonymous - 11/07/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 123

By nooneatall - 15/01/2010 03:16 - France

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 960

You deserved it 20 242

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 224

You deserved it 35 526

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 4 053

Kinky

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to pick up something from my parents' house, only to be greeted with the horrid surprise that my elderly dad has taken to wearing women's pantyhose and garters. He claims it's for his knees, but that doesn't explain the boner I had to see peeking out of his panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 119

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 99

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 572

You deserved it 11 314

Can't be unseen

By my poor eyes - 15/02/2021 16:01 - United States - Danville

Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 93

Yudith 24

Saturday 31 July 2021 19:01

Good for him! Safety first, especially when you are doing strenuous exercise in bed.

bleachedraven 14

Saturday 31 July 2021 22:31

lol, I like how he thinks 🤣

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 31 July 2021 16:14

Doesn't your mom have an ass?

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 1 August 2021 2:53

I DID think that was how that was supposed to work! Maybe I've been doing it wrong?

TwoBytesCarley 27

Sunday 1 August 2021 23:22

Maybe she has lower back problems? It’s strenuous having a man use you for support!

Yudith 24

Saturday 31 July 2021 19:01

Good for him! Safety first, especially when you are doing strenuous exercise in bed.

bleachedraven 14

Saturday 31 July 2021 22:31

lol, I like how he thinks 🤣

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Sunday 1 August 2021 2:52

Why would you possibly ask such a question???

RowerBud 11

Sunday 1 August 2021 22:28

I mean you had to ask???

idragosani 15

Wednesday 4 August 2021 5:24

Good for him, planning ahead!

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I got turned down for a home for low income people because my income was too low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 218

Today, I discovered the hard way that all the scare stories I'd heard about rats getting into pipes and finding their way into your toilet are, in fact, true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 661

You deserved it 2 342

Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 945

You deserved it 224

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 932

You deserved it 17 247

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 526

You deserved it 2 768

Today, I cheated on a math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in, feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 923

You deserved it 208 962