Awkward, Chuds and Love: Is this a joke?

Is this a joke?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 732

You deserved it 3 895

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Same thing different taste

Date night

By Anonymous - 30/04/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 139

You deserved it 7 995

Keeping up with the Joneses

By Eva - 10/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I met my ex from the college, and he invited me to dinner. Back then, he was rude and a bit abusive, but I agreed anyway. The man I saw today is loving, caring and fun, with a good job, and I really liked his wife. On the other hand, I'm between jobs, and my relationship's turned into the utter bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 181

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 211

Nope

By frenchpie - 17/05/2009 12:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, the guy I liked came over for dinner with some friends. One of them asked him if we were dating, he became so distraught he started to choke on the food I had made, in his haste to tell them that in no uncertain terms, were we together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 504

You deserved it 4 176

By Anonymous - 31/07/2010 15:03 - United States

Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 592

You deserved it 3 750

Awkward

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 02:01

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 1 345

That one annoying friend

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 01:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 154

By jimmy_poison - 09/02/2015 00:19 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 238

You deserved it 2 940

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 955

You deserved it 8 252

By stelno - 18/06/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 674

You deserved it 64 655

machiko_fml 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:53

Either you lost major weight to where they can't recognize you, or he was cheating on you with a fat woman.

furburger 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:08

A pimp-ass husband's response: I married that cow and ****** the weight off her, like a boss. How's your brisket? (said loudly)

Comments

iloveloosy12 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 6:49

haha either they're talking about you, or he cheated, yo

AmeenWhoElse 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 6:57

You shoulda said "wat ever happened to that douchefag friend of yours from 3rd year?"

mpclaw 3

Wednesday 12 January 2011 8:58

and how much do you weigh?

SarahCrazy_fml 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 9:20

and I bet your still with the punk, huh?

chelleyy143 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 9:43

i'd be like "...excuse me?"

monagro 22

Wednesday 12 January 2011 11:06

At least they don't think you're fat any more

Alanah101 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:04

I hope chucked what ever you had for dinner at him. lol.

AjaxF 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:18

Ha ha ha. .you were fat beyond recognition. . . .FYL

SILENT_KILLER765 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 15:01

I don't get it did he call ur wife fat or say that youve been cheating on her? anyways FYL

Bartboy 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 16:35

not an fml... take the compliment

oblio 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 2:31

If you consider that a compliment, I feel sorry for the ladies who date you

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Mental health Health

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, in order to save money, instead of going to the car wash, I decided to wash my car at home. While sponging the roof, I slipped on the soapy driveway and ended up sliding under the car, getting soaked and covered in suds. My neighbor saw the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 149

Today, my friends threw me a Halloween themed party for my sweet sixteen. When I arrived, one of my friends jumped out from behind the door, dressed as Michael Myers. I peed myself in front of everyone I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 737

You deserved it 6 296

Today, I spent a lot of money buying a birthday gift for a close friend, only to find out I'm not even invited to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 383

You deserved it 1 864

Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 234

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 173

You deserved it 26 234

Today, after nearly 19 years, my Facebook account was permanently disabled because I'd banned too many scammers. I admin 58 groups, for over 2 million members, and have banned 50k+ fake accounts. One of them apparently reported me, and since Facebook runs some fake accounts, it was easier to ban me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 152