This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

It's a trap!

By raspution - 10/01/2018 19:38

Spicy
Today, my wife messaged me "Babe, can you save some energy for me after work?" I work 60 hours a week since she's not working, so it's been a while, and I excitedly said yes. Got home to find a note saying "Thank you for offering to clean the house!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 214
You deserved it 1 354

raspution tells us more.

raspution 21

OP: Lots of questions. I get home from work at 1am so she was sleeping. I cook and clean my own mess made from it the mess is almost all hers since she doesn't clean up for herself. We do not have any kids but that is the problem. About a year and a half ago she had her 3rd miscarriage. She became extremely depressed tried to hurt herself and so on. She is doing better now but I am getting tired of her being like this. she goes to counseling 2x a month and some times I just feel like she's using me. All of last year we only had sex 3 times and i don't want to leave her if she's really depressed and want her to get better but then crap like this makes me think she's just using me and taking advantage of it. Also I worry a 4th try wont fix things and if she had another miscarriage it would be worse.

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Top comments

Jurbla 14

Well, that pretty clearly seems like intentional manipulation on her part. Look at that expert use of vague, open ended language on the TEXT followed by that turn around to using a NOTE instead of face to face or the previously used text communication, reducing the chance of arguing. A note that very clearly indicates she knew you wouldn't have cleaning on your mind, or else it wouldn't have needed to explain what you "offered". Unless she has a medical condition or otherwise justifiable reason to not do house work, it's time to let her know that it's only fair that since you work 60 hours a week and she works 0, she do the majority of the house work. It's CERTAINLY not okay to manipulate you like that, either.

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Comments

psycobunnymamafox 13

I'm sorry to hear that op but you do realize that it can take years to get over a misscarage not only are they hard on the body but a part of her thinks that it's her fault for losing the baby's even if it's not true (I would know I've had a few myself) all you can do is be there for her even try to talk things out

5 1
Wintermelons 19

Yeesh op, I don’t have words, I hope things turn around for you, I really do...

2 0
almost_there44 26

FML: Why can't we view the comments of those responding to the OP's follow-up? This has been going on for a year and I've seen multiple comments about it. Also, why can't we edit our comments? I don't want Cali coming on my comment and talking about how I should proof read when a simple question can't and won't be answered to the people who keep this app up and running. That's why this is dwindling down. Barely any comments or votes anymore because of simple things that multiple people have complained about.

4 1
raspution 21

if you go to the fml web page you can but it doesn't work from the app. wanted to see what people commented to me too.

1 0
Cali 54

Off-topic comments are supposed to be removed, but I'm replying instead in case this helps others. The devs are busy with the French site but they're looking into this issue. Please send future complaints or bug reports to our support inbox or just message me. Thanks!

0 0
Kagomay 8

I read your comment and want to say that i think you're doing a wonderful job being there for her. I know it may seem tough and you're tired but try to remember the reasons you and her married to begin with. Sometimes counseling just doesn't help, in my case it made things worse. I quit college and work and began relying purely on my husband... I felt hopeless. I didn't clean or do any of my wifely duties. Though I made sure we had sex once a week because i forced myself to because i felt so bad about not wanting to. You should try to rekindle the spark, she probably feels worthless even unattractive. Religiously speaking women were supposedly put here to reproduce and if she cant do that im sure she feels like a failure. And while counseling usually can help, its better to have the one person who you love and trust to talk to. Keep up the good work though. I do hope yall can try for a child again much later when the time is right. Good luck

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listicka 5

You should have told her to clean house herself and you should not have children with this lazy woman. It will only become worse. Stop helping her. Or you will end up fed up with slob who not only doesn't clean up after herself but after children too. When I was married I had three children, my husband worked 40 hours not like you working 60 and I did everything, cooking everyday from scratch including soup, baking every weekend, taking care of all children's needs, cleaning every day, going shopping and so on. Bastard didn't lift finger at home and then he had audacity to say i did nothing and constantly criticizing i should clean more. Obviously he is now ex.

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Valentin_50m37h1n9 3

You shouldn't tire yourself with her. Miscarriage or not you are the only person earning money and you deserve to come home and rest..

1 0
ACCOUNTKILLER 18

Are you also going to counselling? This situation can't be easy on you either and I hope you tell her how it makes you feel when she pulls shit like this and how you feel about the relationship in general. Nothing is going to change if you don't effectively communicate. Remember to have boundaries and stick to them- communication should be honest and unambiguous. Be supportive but don't give special treatment because you're worried she might do something to herself because it's not something you can control and you are not responsible for her behavior/actions. Another thing to consider is that if this how your relationship is from struggling to make children, how will you both cope with the stress and responsibility of having children? Or what if she has postpartum depression on top of her current depression? To me, it seems unfair on everyone to bring a child into this situation.

2 0
James Thompson 8

At first I was just going to say that your wife sounds like a bitch, but reading your follow up makes me realize that there is more to it. Depression can be a mothwrfucker. It’s good that she’s working on it but it doesn’t sound like it’s helping. If she’s on meds, maybe try something different. If no meds, time to try some. Also, maybe look into other therapists or treatment methods. Best of luck to you. Living with a person with severe depression can be very challenging.

5 0