Food, Cooking, Erratas and Miscellaneous: It's bad for your health

It's bad for your health

By Anonyme - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Lyon

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side covered in a spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 7 045

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Top comments

Thaylok 17

Tuesday 1 August 2023 20:06

If something can go wrong, it will at the most inopportune time. The Toast fall was Murphys setup for the ash.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 August 2023 20:39

Sounds like Murphy was ******* with you, briefly letting you think the universe wasn't out to get you. Then, boom, it got you!

Comments

Thaylok 17

Tuesday 1 August 2023 20:06

If something can go wrong, it will at the most inopportune time. The Toast fall was Murphys setup for the ash.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 1 August 2023 20:39

Sounds like Murphy was ******* with you, briefly letting you think the universe wasn't out to get you. Then, boom, it got you!

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Friends Jealousy Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 246

The Top

Today, I realized that my new house is next to an elementary school playground. I figured this out after I kept hearing loud high pitched screaming when the kids had recess from inside my house. My sensory issues are already thanking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 792

Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 90

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 278

You deserved it 9 225

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 059

You deserved it 7 600

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 684

You deserved it 3 280

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 742

You deserved it 8 497