Intimacy: It's sus

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 142

You deserved it 10 356

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Same thing different taste

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 245

Mortified

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 001

You deserved it 8 945

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 1 350

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 11:54 - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 282

You deserved it 8 649

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 259

You deserved it 37 892

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 5 563

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 564

You deserved it 56 763

Big night

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 972

You deserved it 34 690

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 104

You deserved it 6 453

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 027

VickyG17 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 16:12

You were gonna do it in his parents living room? YDI

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 16:15

He still lives at home, so you shouldn't be doing it there anyway, but at least do it in his room. You're an idiot and you deserve it.

Comments

mommyhearts2boys 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 17:24

is this the only way u get to c a girl cause it's stupid to be asking for pics

ryanriola 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 17:36

11 STFU

joeysteelz 2

Tuesday 4 January 2011 17:43

Haha you should of just said what's going on....

Cinn_fml 22

Tuesday 4 January 2011 17:52

Right, so you knew his parents were in the house and still thought sex on the couch was a good idea? Or at least, I'm assuming you knew as either it was in their house or they were visiting. Though I suppose he might not've mentioned it. But from the way you've worded the FML it implies you knew, and therefore you should've known better.

blcarter81 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 10:58

oh my god....

Cinn_fml 22

Wednesday 5 January 2011 12:17

What? (I can make assumptions based on the fact that I remember your user name, but I don't like to make assumptions.)

redneck_comedian 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 6:39

i know what thats guy is thinkin. ya yankee... dont make yer answers so dadgum long..

Cinn_fml 22

Sunday 9 October 2011 11:08

Oh, gee, why didn't I think of that. Again, the internet needs a damn sarcasm font. Besides, I'm not a yankee, and I'll make my comments as long as I damn well feel like.

sallen0046 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 18:03

That's what you get for trying to have sex with some drunk loser in the middle of his parents house. If you can't even contain it to the bedroom, you deserve to be humiliated. It doesn't matter if it's their house or if they're just visiting, you need to learn to show a little respect. Having sex in the open while sharing a home with other people is just asking for trouble.

UpsidedownKayak 9

Tuesday 4 January 2011 19:09

Why is the boyfriend the loser? It seems to me that he was just drunk on the couch waiting to get some sleep when his horny girlfriend wanted some action. I think she lost some dignity, some of the parents respect and that makes the OP the loser.

jess6blondie9 2

Wednesday 5 January 2011 0:57

her being drunk was the only way she could get laid, duh

ladouche182 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 18:33

seriously? u r a ****** idiot! stupid bitch! go **** a pickle

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 4 January 2011 18:40

Were you going to try to have sex with him while he was passed out? How difficult is it to quickly hide condoms when someone enters the room, unless they were open and you were caught in flagrante delicto.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 4 January 2011 19:51

I'm guessing she was just as drunk as he. Her judgement certainly sounds impaired enough.

Amanyyyyyy 29

Wednesday 7 May 2014 23:36

Easy to hide a condom. Hard to hide your nudity...

fearfulsymmetry 1

Tuesday 4 January 2011 19:26

You were trying to have sex with your boyfriend while he was passed out? How is that even possible? His parents probably think you're a sexual predator now. But, do you lack common sense and logic? YDI for having sex in his parent's home(OR when his parent's were visiting/staying over at your boyfriend's house). Have some respect for them and be intimate somewhere private. Idiot.