Just a prank, dad

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 17:01

Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 174

Cyber Monday: Clicks and Quiproquos
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Same thing different taste

By ellieowenie - 29/07/2012 08:11 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 753

You deserved it 3 438

Purple rain, purple rain

By wtf?! - 30/05/2020 05:00

Today, out of boredom, I decided to dye my hair. I clumsily spilled some of the purple dye on my chest and shoulders. My insane mother is convinced the marks are hickeys I got from sneaking out and having sex with a boyfriend I don’t even have. She won’t listen, and I’m grounded for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 303

By argh - 20/03/2012 08:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 478

By mushroomtop - 23/09/2017 23:15

Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 3 522

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 541

You deserved it 5 202

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 5 374

Extreme makeover

By skunk head - 22/07/2020 05:01

Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 22:35 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 731

You deserved it 5 054

Lookin' good

By Sleeping Beauty - 19/12/2015 19:20 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I took a nap on the couch. Apparently, my wife decided to put makeup all over my face as I slept. She didn't tell me until after I went to the gas station to grab some beer. Looks like I will have to find a new place to buy beer from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 068

You deserved it 3 778

By pandasbear - 26/05/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 861

You deserved it 14 206

Bogrbon 27

Friday 11 September 2020 17:41

Speaking from personal experience, rubbing alcohol will clean it up pretty easily. In high school we had a cute but eccentric French foreign exchange student, and when I introduced myself she said “I’ll never remember that“ and casually wrote it on my forehead. A bit of experimentation and it came right off.