Intimacy: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 353

You deserved it 9 771

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gummy - 03/05/2019 16:00

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 181

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 181

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 401

By pasha - 16/05/2015 00:51 - Canada - Beamsville

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 2 868

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 678

You deserved it 6 461

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 884

You deserved it 3 329

Jumpy

By bunny - 12/10/2022 12:00

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 192

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 123

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 676

You deserved it 2 772

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:29

You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)

mcleod 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:28

Always knock!

Comments

moniqueee18 13

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:03

Well that blows ;)

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:10

Booooo…

lil_ham1644 29

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:51

You don't know that

jeriaslovesyou 16

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:04

Two things, the door wasn't locked? And why didn't you knock? Either way this made me giggle xD

keiNan_fml 35

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:05

tell them to lock there door next time and don't forget to knock!!!!

tony1891 22

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:04

no more locked doors!!!

HarshD9619 34

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:07

You see that? Yeah, right there. That's a childhood getting ruined

nmw404 6

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:09

what are you...10? you should learn the sounds and respect the sound of privacy.

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 10:28

If OP doesn't have rougher sex, they won't know the sounds. Hell, maybe OP doesn't even actually HAVE sex. Also, he thought his mom was being beaten. That's reason enough to barge in.

mylifebitches666 18

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:22

don't lie, we all know you wanted to look.

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 10:26

Stop that.

SanyoBlackthorn 9

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:36

You're all idiots! Why are you scolding him for knocking the door?! He thought his mum was being beaten!

Tyrez 32

Sunday 26 October 2014 9:50

Well that sucks. Parents should try to be at least a little discreet when kids are home. Hopefully they will learn their lesson and turn it down a notch. I like going to r/eyebleach when I've seen something I regret.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Sunday 26 October 2014 10:37

I don't blame you. Nothing has enraged me more than seeing a loved one get physically hurt by their significant other. It is, however, fortunate that that wasn't the case. Sorry for your eyes, OP.