Love: Thanks dad

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 3 327

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hicks

By >_< - 30/08/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 628

You deserved it 6 328

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 814

You deserved it 1 976

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 7 610

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 453

You deserved it 2 611

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 386

You deserved it 48 622

Oil and water

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 14:00

Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 283

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 242

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 761

You deserved it 6 945

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 356

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 5 355

SexySlayer1248 18

Friday 20 September 2013 2:30

You might want to try a redo when your dad calms down

ElricMustang 23

Friday 20 September 2013 2:30

That poor microwave :/

Comments

SexySlayer1248 18

Friday 20 September 2013 2:30

You might want to try a redo when your dad calms down

nurchok 15

Friday 20 September 2013 20:39

#1, I was about to say literally the same exact thing :)

Gingerette 8

Saturday 21 September 2013 2:13

Or just perform a mercy killing upon your father. that will solve everything. And you might get a little insurance money out of it.

ElricMustang 23

Friday 20 September 2013 2:30

That poor microwave :/

BlueRainDude 11

Friday 20 September 2013 3:49

Every abusive household starts that way. First it's the microwave. Then one day the stove is gone. Next the toaster is found smashed to bits in the front lawn. Oh the machines that have suffered.

nissa0909 16

Friday 20 September 2013 5:19

1 like equals 1 prayer for abused microwaves!

vipirius 18

Friday 20 September 2013 10:28

This isn't Facebook dude..

nissa0909 16

Friday 20 September 2013 16:05

I'm a girl and it was a joke! :( I was making fun of everyone who does that on Facebook..

leonchen7498 12

Friday 20 September 2013 20:40

am amazed no one saw that lol

TheMalygos 21

Sunday 1 March 2015 5:20

@26 What about dislikes?

BeautyBaby099 18

Friday 20 September 2013 2:31

Great first impression

zed34 18

Friday 20 September 2013 2:35

First impressions are the lasting impressions! Hope she sticks around!

Nyx_fml 23

Friday 20 September 2013 2:35

Your dad is dumb. He can't kill the microwave; he has to get the fridge to do it. The fridge's a big guy.

broderickc 13

Friday 20 September 2013 2:40

Nobody ***** with the fridge

Wolstenholme 11

Friday 20 September 2013 2:36

**** first impressions. Most stressful moments in life.

Axipiter 24

Friday 20 September 2013 5:45

Awe inspiring. Well done. Anytime something stresses you out, **** it.

Wolstenholme 11

Friday 20 September 2013 20:30

Did I say that? No I was just implying that I do not like first impressions. I always mess them up.

Chloe555_fml 27

Friday 20 September 2013 2:36

Good way to assert your dominance over the machines. I know I have.

DocBastard 38

Friday 20 September 2013 2:37

Dad: And **** you, toaster, for getting crumbs all over my counter! **** you! Girlfriend: Uh... Dad: Stove, you overcooked my eggs, you bastard! Girlfriend: I'm outta here.