Intimacy: Kinda sus

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 21:31 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 353

You deserved it 9 771

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Same thing different taste

By gummy - 03/05/2019 16:00

Today, despite asking her to stop countless times, my stepmom still barges into my room explosively and without warning. I faint when startled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 178

You deserved it 181

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 181

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 401

By pasha - 16/05/2015 00:51 - Canada - Beamsville

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 2 868

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 678

You deserved it 6 461

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 884

You deserved it 3 329

Jumpy

By bunny - 12/10/2022 12:00

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 192

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 415

You deserved it 3 199

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 123

Randy old bird

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 676

You deserved it 2 772

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:29

You should never EVER just walk right into your parents room. >.< The reason why you did it is sweet, though. You're a good son. :)

mcleod 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 8:28

Always knock!

Comments

jlmontgomery 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:13

And this is why I always lock my bedroom door.

Mindset 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:12

My prayers will go out to you

oJoy 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 17:14

haha I've walked in on my parents years ago. it's still scary to think about even after 10 years -_- I feel your pain

SkullduggeryCain 11

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:36

THE EXACT SAME FREAKING THING happened to me last year....

stacey2570 21

Sunday 26 October 2014 18:55

I walked in on my parents some 30 plus years ago. Lol you never ever unsee that! !

lazyslumber 18

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:08

This is why I prefer soundproofing

IWishIWasObama 12

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:12

ydi! you just automatically assume it was domestic violence

TheLadyOpal 30

Sunday 26 October 2014 21:16

Better to mistake wild sex for domestic violence than the other way around.

rushalm 7

Sunday 26 October 2014 19:45

Well look at the bright side.. You got the rest of your life ruined.. I'm sure you won't be able to imagine them dressed even at the dining table!:P

grovetuckey 2

Sunday 26 October 2014 20:04

there's a sub redit for that

Frostillicus123 10

Sunday 26 October 2014 22:55

all I can say is dude

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The Top

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 259

The Top

Today, my boyfriend said, "One day I'll tell my children how I met you. I mean, our children." It's pretty cute, except for the fact that we're 17 and have been dating for only two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 1 245

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 226

You deserved it 29 078

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 531

You deserved it 2 775

Today, my car broke down because it couldn't wait two more days for an oil change. Now it might be FUBAR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 785

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returned him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 946

You deserved it 993

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 246

You deserved it 6 477