King Dick

By wtf bro - 20/03/2020 07:00 - United States

Today, after returning from some caveman type "men’s retreat" with his buddies, my husband is now refusing to cook or help out with the house and kids as it’s "women’s work." He also expects to be fetched beer on demand and referred to as "King" from now on. I don’t know rather to laugh or cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 302

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Go long

By Ungrateful - 04/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 120

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2022 12:00

Today, my husband suddenly decided he was going to stop talking about all the changes he needed to make, and finally do them. That's great, except that in less than a day, he lost his shit at me and our young kids for not immediately fixing everything about ourselves as well. They're still sobbing and he doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 142

Leech

By HadEnough - 28/02/2023 22:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I asked my husband to be a little more responsible, pick up after himself, and spend a little less. I earn more than he does, so it's usually my money that he splurges. He has gone on a non-stop tantrum for the past 5 hours, giving me the cold shoulder, and shouting at me. What have I gotten myself into? FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 200

By anonymous - 24/04/2012 18:18 - United States

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 213

You deserved it 3 325

Great guy

By Anonymous - 10/06/2020 23:10

Today, my husband has been super happy for the last 11 weeks, as he's been able to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Now I'm allowed to start work again, he's gone back to being super shitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 386

Are you kidding me right now?

By Not your maid - 29/03/2023 16:00

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 143

Gimme a break

By anon - 04/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 23:53 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 977

You deserved it 5 854

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 143

In the cold

By the dog won - 16/07/2020 14:01

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 330

thatkorean 5

Friday 20 March 2020 15:28

I’d put him back in his proper place. You’re not the ******* maid. You’re his wife and he should treat you the way a wife should be treated. If he’s a king then you’re the queen. And in chess, the queen is the most important piece.

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 20 March 2020 15:47

I would dump the beer on his head and remind him what year it is. Step up or leave.

Comments

spinspinsugar 12

Friday 20 March 2020 21:14

I'd laugh in his face and tell him to **** right on off. my husband knows better than that

AmbrosiaFan 18

Friday 20 March 2020 22:48

"Get it yourself, asshole" and other comebacks come to mind. Put your foot down, girl!

jc1015 25

Saturday 21 March 2020 1:38

laugh...laugh loudly and obnoxiously then pour yourself a glass of wine and have a seat

jc1015 25

Saturday 21 March 2020 1:42

Also make food only for yourself, do only your dishes, and do only your laundry. Bet he cuts that shit out real quick.

lifeis4me 20

Saturday 21 March 2020 1:46

Since he’s refusing to cook, I hope you’re only feeding yourself and the kids. If he’s such a man, he’ll go hunt for his own game

WistayShlaio82 13

Saturday 21 March 2020 2:16

Cheat on him with his best friend. Best pussy can get dick on demand.

distortedcognition 17

Saturday 21 March 2020 6:41

Let him **** the men he longs to be around. He’s a POS

guiltyschuldig49 12

Saturday 21 March 2020 15:38

I think it’s time for mommy strike. I’d go on a vacation and let him know he’ll be taking over the kids for the weekend. I’d also stop cooking for him, throw out all the beer, and instead of “king” I’d call him peasant.

EyupItsLucas 5

Monday 23 March 2020 9:20

Bring him his beer along with divorce papers and when he asks why tell him that it’s 2020, not 1920 and if he wants to remain married he needs to play his part.

duchessinky 11

Tuesday 24 March 2020 0:18

Laugh. Laugh in his ******* face. "If you're The King, then I'm The Queen! Queens don't clean, change diapers, cook, or do laundry. Where's my damn maids?"