Love, Pregnancy and Alcohol: Let that sink in

Let that sink in

By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 21:42 - Canada

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 861

You deserved it 8 725

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Same thing different taste

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

Ambulances ain't cheap

By Mom - 29/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 120

By Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia - 04/01/2015 01:30 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 267

You deserved it 5 935

By Xbieblette51 - 19/08/2014 22:30 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 845

You deserved it 6 953

Is everything OK?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 867

You deserved it 8 880

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 215

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

Misbehaving

By anonymous - 05/02/2013 05:22 - United States - Hampton

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 400

You deserved it 3 228

By wifeofafainter - 24/09/2015 06:31 - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 421

You deserved it 3 070

perstephane 4

Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:05

*Long distance support* What a jerk move! Hang in there!

justsayfuck 5

Tuesday 5 October 2010 1:06

Oh wow.. that is terrible. I don't see how he can save himself from this one, bonding issues?

Comments

mike3775 35

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:14

Wow what a prick the husband is. When my first was coming, I was at work, and my boss said I couldn't leave, and if I did I would be fired, I went to the time clock, punched out, and went right to the hospital. (I didn't lose my job either, they fired my boss, and gave me 8 weeks pay to not sue) When the twins were coming, I was at Comiskey Park in Chicago watching the White Sox play, and immediately got up and left the game in the 6th inning and went right to the hospital. I didn't care about that Bro's vs Ho's crap this guy pulled, I wanted to be there with my wife as any man should be

LD21tex 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:23

that's awesome

dius 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:25

well he is drunk after all

trackkill 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:39

its not his fault his drunk

DLTsandwich 5

Tuesday 5 October 2010 6:24

114, umm unless he was having liquor forcibly poured down his throat by his friends, it's definitely his fault he was drunk...

Ficklefart 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:45

Wut a douche doesnt he know that bros before hos gets cancelled out when you get married?

0opsie 6

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:46

Oh man. This is so bad, but it made me laugh. Sorry. :{

suphumanity 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:56

a true MAN

Clover2009 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 3:07

"Today, I went out to the bar in hopes of having a good time before my wife's due date. Apparently I got drunk, and yelled "BROS BEFORE HOS!" and hung up when she called. Why did she call? She was in labor. I can expect a divorce attorney soon."

spanelli 16

Tuesday 5 October 2010 5:53

That's hilarious. :D

shield1123 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 3:08

i'm calling this one a fake. who would get on fmylife after having a baby?

cufaoil 11

Tuesday 5 October 2010 4:11

all FML's start with "Today", irrespective of when they actually occurred... I can only hope that he thought you were joking around.... otherwise you got yourself a real prize catch there, OP...