Miscellaneous: Life goals

Life goals

By efmylife - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know what's more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 227

You deserved it 7 299

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Same thing different taste

By SwoopingEagle - 09/06/2017 20:00

Today, my co-workers were laughing at me because I couldn't throw paper into the bin, regardless of how close I was. Annoyed, I tried to prove then wrong by angry throwing paper into the bin that was no less that 1 cm away from me. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 829

You deserved it 1 314

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 649

You deserved it 7 289

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 122

You deserved it 36 603

Pile up

By shark - 27/11/2012 03:03 - United States - Houston

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 660

You deserved it 31 884

By ManagerWithoutRespect - 05/12/2016 05:14 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, one of my co-workers threw a piece of garbage at the waste bin beside me. When it missed, he said, "Aw, I missed the garbage... and the bin beside it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 927

You deserved it 882

The shot of a lifetime

By Epic Fail - 10/10/2022 08:30 - United States - Steele

Today, I tried to throw a basketball in my backyard basketball hoop. It bounced off the board, hit me on the head, then hit a spray can, activating it and spraying black paint all over my Golden Retriever, to finally land in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 212

Use your socks

By Anonymous - 14/03/2021 05:01 - Norway

Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 214

By akieferr - 03/09/2014 02:41 - United States

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 796

You deserved it 14 780

By bobuhbeartoe - 24/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 851

You deserved it 19 994

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 779

You deserved it 39 004

Hacksaw 4

Friday 23 October 2009 12:08

You should have yelled out "SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!" after you got it in.

giganticbrain 0

Friday 23 October 2009 12:09

Good for you man. Not many people can do that.

Comments

emivv 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 0:22

why's this an fml? This sounds like a good highlight of your day. not sad

hazardharry 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 0:38

Highlight of your life? Really? YDI.

lifeislife_fml 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 1:36

WHOA. I was thinking this exact thing, word for word, and then I saw your comment. So here it is again: Highlight of your life? Really? YDI.

thewhiterabbit11 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 2:00

Now that u made the shot, what u gunna do now? (says my mum)

invisiblerabbit 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 2:52

ask a stat major, s/he will be better qualified to answer this question.. but every day for 3 years man, that's quite bad

StoryofmyLife10 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:14

to me that's an epic win ;)

DameGreyWulf 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:26

You need a hobby. Or a girlfriend Or a boyfriend Or both Your choice

SookMauNoots 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 4:33

ude probly make that shot in less then everyday for 3 years

shellybean87 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 5:57

u know that's so pathetic it's not even funny... I'm completley serious too

SenorCheese 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 6:02

Look on the bright side, you can follow your newfound calling and make it big in the NBA!

ElNegroHombre 0

Saturday 24 October 2009 7:06

If this was true it'd be pretty sad. I can do that in probably 3-5 tries.

Keywords

Money Scams Food Health Relatable Parents Love Lonely Growing old Miscellaneous Work Games Cheating Weird Awkward Birthday Romantic Sex Intimacy Ironic Shopping Embarrassing Sexting Porn Restaurants Confused Family Cute Kids Music

The Top

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 141

Today, I told my guy friend to not put pictures of me on his story when we hang out, to which he replied, “You rejected me, but you continue to ask about my friends. For some reason you refuse to help me out with yours. At least some other girl I know will think I’m a catch for hanging with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 950

The Top

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 861

You deserved it 12 619

Today, my mom prevented me from walking a neighbor's dog because she said I'm obsessed with it. I walk the dog three times a day because that's what the neighbors pay me to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 433

You deserved it 1 621

Today, after three years of being in physical pain, which affects my health and daily life, I was told it's an undiagnosable condition that I'll have to deal with for a long time, as there are no answers and no fixable solution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 58

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 6 345

Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 446

You deserved it 6 812

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 321