Sex and Friends: Life on Nightmare mode

Life on Nightmare mode

By shitforchris - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 271

You deserved it 12 119

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Top comments

randomfacts 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:21

how about you grow a pair and tell her how you feel?

Emico_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:25

You should have given her a demonstration.

Comments

Ozman2001 2

Thursday 19 July 2012 20:34

a moment of silences for our brother in the friendzone.

catielovesu13 3

Friday 20 July 2012 6:01

I'm a girl and well unless you r weird she will probubly like it if you tol her u likes her

GLaDOS8899 14

Thursday 20 March 2014 20:48

It's trying to communicate with us. What should we do?

ckrider64 8

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:47

friend zone population you

robotiick7 23

Friday 2 August 2013 20:04

Unless you're a sex therapist you didn't have to

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 22 January 2014 21:46

Well if you give poor advice maybe she can be yours... With her asking that I know you are deep in the friend zone...

Zaayuro 9

Saturday 13 June 2015 7:45

well this is hard to explain I'll just have to demonstrate

DarkusOmegaX 14

Tuesday 1 September 2015 2:04

Dude, I know how you feel. My deepest sympathizes go out to you.

Mick_Mathers6661 7

Thursday 5 November 2015 4:40

What the Hell.

Dr_Jackal 16

Sunday 29 April 2018 8:10

That sucks dude, sorry

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 81

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 374

The Top

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 256

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 422

You deserved it 14 000

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 134

Today, I was chilling with my boyfriend of 2 years when, out of the blue and with complete seriousness, he asked me if I want kids anytime soon. This wouldn't be odd if we weren't both 14 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 771

You deserved it 581

Today, I found out why a boy I like has been ignoring me since we went out for drinks the other night. I accidentally got too drunk and remember nothing except that I decided to play on my phone for awhile. The next day he wouldn't even talk to me and when I asked why, he told me that I had drunkenly revealed to him that I had multiple crushes, all of their names, and had showed him all of my conversations with them on WhatsApp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 7 403

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 689

You deserved it 861