Health: Little shit

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 415

You deserved it 8 563

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 469

You deserved it 2 716

By ow my kidneys - 14/07/2015 10:33 - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 1 928

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

Happiest place on Earth

By DwarvenWalrus - 16/08/2017 01:30

Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 748

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 137

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 137

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 081

You deserved it 10 846

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 3 259

woainishamu 21

Friday 7 June 2013 3:01

This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...

TheVoicesTalk 3

Friday 7 June 2013 3:05

The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.

Comments

KendraLaine 18

Friday 7 June 2013 3:53

Yikes! Karma will definitely get this kid! Hope the pain is better now.

Pussycat86 18

Friday 7 June 2013 5:03

So maybe karma was what got OP into this situation! Maybe when he was a turd waffle he kicked someone's crouch? No?

vanessa09865 23

Friday 7 June 2013 4:10

well the world is at a loss now. I literally LOL'ed. Sad that the world won't have more funny people

Ginja_HaZ 15

Friday 7 June 2013 4:20

The turd waffle name just made my day. Thank you for that, OP. Lol Now on the ********, that was ditty of that kid. Hopefully he was kicked out of the park later on at the least. Maybe go to the doctor about it?

theworldismad 10

Friday 7 June 2013 4:23

there's always adoption?

Sober1128 9

Friday 7 June 2013 4:23

Turd waffle. Don't think I've heard that one before.

JacobH34 10

Friday 7 June 2013 4:23

That'll be a good story to tell your kids someday! No, wait...

woainishamu 21

Friday 7 June 2013 5:04

Please look at #3. That is all.

noelasis94 18

Friday 7 June 2013 4:26

And then you set a crazy three stooges like domino effect off right?

mikepzz 27

Friday 7 June 2013 4:28

So you drowned the kid in the pool right? I hope you did anyway, nut shots are no laughing matter :(

AngrySailor 17

Friday 7 June 2013 13:43

Just hold said turd waffle under untill the thrashing almost stops. Then "rescue" him from drowning. Payback and you're a hero!

tehdarkness 21

Friday 7 June 2013 4:33

Lol... Turd waffle..

theworldismad 10

Friday 7 June 2013 4:40

so I was looking at your name and I thought it was kinda funny bc now you can't **** anyone, especially kids *not caring about thumbs down that I'm about to get*