Health: Little shit

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 415

You deserved it 8 563

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 469

You deserved it 2 716

By ow my kidneys - 14/07/2015 10:33 - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 1 928

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

Happiest place on Earth

By DwarvenWalrus - 16/08/2017 01:30

Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 748

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 137

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 137

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 081

You deserved it 10 846

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 3 259

woainishamu 21

Friday 7 June 2013 3:01

This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...

TheVoicesTalk 3

Friday 7 June 2013 3:05

The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.

Comments

karlcolt45 19

Friday 7 June 2013 3:15

well no surprise child support

Revan501 15

Friday 7 June 2013 3:16

OP did you at least roundhouse kick the " turd waffle "?

MrConcise 34

Friday 7 June 2013 3:16

"Turd" along with water park had me thinking it would end differently, then I read the "waffle" part. Way to mislead, OP.

Dennerzdex 8

Friday 7 June 2013 3:20

Omg sorry OP. Hopefully not. FYL tho

worldclassrager 39

Friday 7 June 2013 3:21

I can feel that...I wish I didn't read this one...

davincidasecond 24

Friday 7 June 2013 3:22

My crotch hurt reading this ... I'm really sorry OP.

FlavorMeUp 7

Friday 7 June 2013 3:25

well at least you don't have to worry about making any turd waffles

MrSarcasmic 10

Friday 7 June 2013 3:25

oh you didn't know? kids are just raised to be assholes these days

xALEXx_fml 15

Friday 7 June 2013 3:28

Ouch..that's gotta hurt OP.

dewhockey 9

Friday 7 June 2013 3:44

What a douchebag. I hope you were able to identify the kid and have him ejected from the park for that.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 39

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I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 199

You deserved it 604

Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 142

You deserved it 21 687

Today, my boyfriend and I got robbed. He was so depressed about all the stuff we lost, I decided to cheer him up with a lap dance. I told him to sit on a chair. We have no furniture left. He started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 499

Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 111

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 060

You deserved it 2 963

Today, I'm facing a disciplinary hearing at work because I occasionally fail to click the door properly shut when I leave the office and this is very upsetting to one of the six colleagues I share my office with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 070

You deserved it 1 367