Health: Little shit

Little shit

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

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Same thing different taste

By canadiankc - 04/06/2009 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 415

You deserved it 8 563

Brat summer

By Anonymous - 12/07/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 469

You deserved it 2 716

By ow my kidneys - 14/07/2015 10:33 - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 1 928

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 487

You deserved it 4 048

Happiest place on Earth

By DwarvenWalrus - 16/08/2017 01:30

Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 748

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 137

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 137

By ricksterile - 29/10/2011 00:44 - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 081

You deserved it 10 846

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 279

You deserved it 3 259

woainishamu 21

Friday 7 June 2013 3:01

This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...

TheVoicesTalk 3

Friday 7 June 2013 3:05

The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.

Comments

anders09ma 7

Friday 7 June 2013 4:43

Ugh. Bratty kids. While I was at the pool my friend went down and then some kid just pushes me out of the way saying "move lady" and goes down when my friend is halfway. WTF?!

Pussycat86 18

Friday 7 June 2013 5:05

Well it is for this story in particular you should feel happy you won't bring more turd waffles into this world! I'm sorry OP

FlyingPie 17

Friday 7 June 2013 5:28

Aw, nuts. The kid may have done it just for kicks, but I'm sure it made you testy.

iammeorami 25

Friday 7 June 2013 5:33

only guys will know how it felt. yeeoowwch!!

Pat77235 8

Friday 7 June 2013 5:46

good on you for not drowning that kid, many would not be able to resist after such a blow...

phoneYuNOlisten 16

Friday 7 June 2013 5:49

I have felt the pain and thought the same things my friend

life_sucks225 13

Friday 7 June 2013 6:12

find him and kill him. either that or smash his little raisin sized testicles until he wont even be able to have sex

mkcherry 14

Friday 7 June 2013 6:15

I would have hit the kid has hard possible, as many times as i could without being caught and then just leave as he cries in the pool. Parents need to watch their dumbass hooligans. If you can spare the catch join a club that doesn't let in kids, its worth every dime not to share the water with other people's miscreants.