Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Lock it up - FML

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 813

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Same thing different taste

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 668

You deserved it 10 159

Check these out!

By elevenharries - 03/06/2010 08:54 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 42 370

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 541

You deserved it 29 645

Oh hi!

By showerstupid - 04/04/2009 08:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 648

You deserved it 44 832

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 159

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 554

You deserved it 69 900

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 59 975

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 098

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 846

You deserved it 3 608

By monkeyzz - 12/10/2012 11:11 - United States - Sonora

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 560

You deserved it 6 999

Next

Top comments

haglette 2

Sunday 24 October 2010 13:29

The downstairs tv room is so adventurous...

yoonhee_fml 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 12:20

daddy's little girl lol

Comments

timon6442 6

Thursday 1 March 2018 14:34

who the **** doesn't lock the door before doing anything sexual in a full house?

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 115

You deserved it 3 104

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, after two and half years at my company and after recently being promoted, I was told by my boss the business doesn't feel it needs me, and invited me to find another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 137

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 6 550

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of a cute guy sitting across from me on a train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just smirked at me, clearly aware of what had just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 668

Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 4 885

Today, I was looking for proof that my dad’s much younger girlfriend is just a dumb gold digging slut looking for a payday. Turns out she has a PhD, owns her own home, and makes six figures. So what’s she doing with his old ass? FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 900

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 331

You deserved it 76 763