"where does it say the parents of the triplets are making OP go" The OP said "I *had* to go", which makes it sound like they were family members or close friends who guilted the OP into going and that declining wasn't really an option. It's lovely that your friends still remember their friend who died 5 years ago, but that is their decision and something they want to do to remember her. I think it is a fair enough assumption that the OP did *not* want to go to this party but felt there was no option (probably because they wanted to keep the peace rather than cause a family feud or ruin a friendship).

Just because OP had to go doesn't mean it was the parents of the triples that made them go, it might have been OP's parents that made them go..

Just because OP had to go doesn't suggest that the parents guilted him/her into it. Maybe they just invited him/her and they're just being whiny about it. Or you could be right about OP not wanting to cause a problem but even in that case if OP's parents aren't forcing him/her to go then he/she should respectfully tell the parents that they're not interested, or at least go for a little while and leaving instead of being there the whole time, just to show some respect without being too uncomfortable. And to everyone saying 'They shouldn't have invited so many people' or 'They need counseling' It never said they invited that many people, it could just be a small family thing. And why would they need counseling? In my opinion having a small get to get for your dead children's birthday is perfectly normal and acceptable. I'd rather have something on their birthday instead of the day they died. Tomorrow is the 2 year anniversary of my grandmothers death and Friday is her birthday but unfortunately I have to go to the high school graduation because I'm in the band. Were not doing anything for her birthday but if it were up to me I'd want to have some family over. There's really nothing 'creepy' about it.

I would agree, except the key words are "if OP was uncomfortable, they should respectfully decline to attend." The OP said they "had" to attend, suggesting to me it was a family member or friend who guilted them into attending, and declining wasn't really an option (without causing some big argument or ruining a friendship). That's wrong of the parents to force other people to continue grieving for their children, ten years later, at a birthday party of all things. Yes, I realise the parents are still grieving and I'd never suggest they should "get over" it. But after ten years, they should be thinking a little clearer and recognise it is not right to force such things onto other people. It's not as if the babies died 2 months ago and they are still blinded by grief and not thinking straight. If that *is* how they are, then I would think they probably need to see a grief counsellor.