Love, Alcohol, Drunk, Cheating, Anger issues and Cops: Dude, chill out - FML

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 115

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Same thing different taste

You need to leave

By trash your own house!! - 09/09/2023 06:00

Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 106

By MyLife - 03/03/2019 12:00

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 198

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 182

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 234

You deserved it 4 591

By TCRII - 19/01/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 3 827

By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 1 958

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 9 630

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 578

You deserved it 6 347

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 288

You deserved it 3 848

By Robbins - 31/08/2009 02:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 5 396

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 19 August 2023 0:33

Good thing he didn't catch you cheating with her! He'd have ****** you up, too!

Doom_Kitty 12

Saturday 19 August 2023 8:29

Sounds like someone who shouldn't be in a relationship anyway^^

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 19 August 2023 0:33

Good thing he didn't catch you cheating with her! He'd have ****** you up, too!

Doom_Kitty 12

Saturday 19 August 2023 8:29

Sounds like someone who shouldn't be in a relationship anyway^^

Keywords

Cats Animals Christmas Health Embarrassing Awkward Work Love Boredom Anniversary Ironic Intimacy Abuse AITA Am I overreacting? Drunk Alcohol Transportation Parents Gun control Kids Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family

The Top

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 194

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 998

You deserved it 42 387

The Top

Today, my daughter threw my stepson down the stairs. When I asked what the hell was going on, she claimed she was just demonstrating her willingness to seriously injure him the next time she catches him in her underwear drawer or in her room at all. I’m not sure which direction to parent in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 178

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 659

You deserved it 3 515

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 261

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 634

You deserved it 3 061

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 648

You deserved it 2 458

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 700

You deserved it 2 232