Intimacy: Make it rain - FML

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 298

You deserved it 64 731

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 857

You deserved it 3 500

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 766

You deserved it 20 872

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 452

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 350

You deserved it 2 071

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 105

You deserved it 2 793

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 863

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 770

You deserved it 5 871

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 10 246

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 292

You deserved it 3 868

Next

Top comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

shane_lyne 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 7:17

haha workin the corner is really payin off

alxndr5120 7

Saturday 21 May 2011 2:39

this isn't an fml unless u were naked or somthing

Erik125 0

Friday 27 May 2011 5:23

wtf u are lame as ****

hubublub123 0

Friday 10 June 2011 23:08

Ya that's hot

Feedmyaddiction5 14

Wednesday 22 June 2011 3:27

money is like the most filthy thing on earth!

iampetard 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:16

You were rolling in nasty stuff money is the dirtiest thing.

stevenmx86 7

Monday 19 December 2011 15:10

Ydi for thinking 400 is a lot.. Did it hurt to jump in your pike of 20 20s?

TreeStarOsaurus 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 4:40

Hahahahaha. I just laughed so hard. Great visual but seriously... Take a shower!! Talk about dirty money! Lotso' germs!

ZeroIce 12

Wednesday 1 February 2012 4:24

Swog!

newburton13 26

Friday 6 April 2012 5:09

You realize 1: you're not a stripper. 2: Money has more germs than...well, it'd probably be healthier to sleep in moldy sewage. Good luck with whatever STD you get.

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The Top

Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 296

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 091

You deserved it 3 533

The Top

Today, even though we were together every day of quarantine, now that I’m working my boyfriend has become a completely different person. He’s now jealous, insecure and makes wild accusations. He’s called and showed up to my new job so many times the managers are threatening to let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 143

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 7 669

Today, I finally beat the song "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero 3. I then realized that it was the biggest accomplishment I've ever made in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 350

You deserved it 37 556

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 704

You deserved it 2 834

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 706

You deserved it 3 857

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019