Intimacy: Make it rain - FML

Make it rain

By howler - 15/02/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 298

You deserved it 64 731

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno

Today, I found $100 on the ground. My mom is taking $40 because she was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 857

You deserved it 3 500

Addict

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 02:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 765

You deserved it 20 872

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 452

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 350

You deserved it 2 071

Kinky

By Keesha - 18/03/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 105

You deserved it 2 793

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 862

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 770

You deserved it 5 871

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 10 246

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 292

You deserved it 3 868

Next

Top comments

x_Cupcakes 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:08

lol. Next time you want to do something weird, lock the door.

hideyoself 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:06

You cheep bastard

Comments

Batman9264 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 23:20

Here in England, we don't have to worry about singles being down strippes asscracks. Really, when was the last time you saw a stripper with coins in her asscrack?

awkward_turtles 1

Friday 1 April 2011 0:41

haha win^

varkey 7

Thursday 17 February 2011 1:31

wtf is wrong with you??

meowmeowwkitty 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 7:15

naked??

kimanime 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 9:29

i laughed xD that was epic

EnterNameHere001 5

Friday 18 February 2011 6:23

This should read "Today I was taking my money bath when I was rudely interrupted."

Whoadee 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 5:44

....uhhh I can explain

Natalie403 6

Monday 21 February 2011 4:38

I love how this is placed in the intimacy category xD

xdust 4

Tuesday 22 February 2011 7:07

awsomee

randombitches1 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 15:05

hmm maybe i can come over and we can both roll in those 400 and 20 dollar bills

TheHopelessJoe 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 20:47

...and then she asked for some

7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Cars Transportation Insurance Health Work Love Cheating Awkward Embarrassing Clumsy Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Pranks Ironic Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I'm in the same city as my boyfriend for the first time in two months. My body apparently did not like the idea of me having sex again, as I promptly got a UTI and then the week-long breakthrough bleeding that antibiotics often cause me. The same thing happened the week before he had to move, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 184

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 117

You deserved it 3 239

The Top

Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 733

You deserved it 1 655

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 710

You deserved it 5 896

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 3 861

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year-olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 228

You deserved it 6 117

Today, for the first time since kindergarten, I won! I came first! Yes, I'm first on the waiting list for the M.A. degree I applied to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 51

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 368